Hmm. Is it wise to invest so much money in over-stretched lumps of collagen encrusted in facial residue? Fuck it, let's do this.

Your aunt with the webcam, hay allergies, and weak pelvic floor?

Let's hope Blue III lives long enough for the school to successfully relocate to Brooklyn and keep this line of succession going.

... that's between he and I.

Whatever, we can probably get by with just 31 and do OK.

The Vikings are going to need to apologize to the hundreds of thousands of Protestant men and women in Northern Ireland that were just offended.

A base is unjustly taken from one team. Mix in some acidic twitter language from a rival, and it was bound to get salty.

Still not the grossest croc footage I've ever seen.

Many in the men's leagues were surprised that this unjust "fixing" was taking place countrywide and in such a flagrant manner.

What is this Little League? Getting to first base shouldn't get anyone near hitting an O face.

Unfortunately the Titan representative who's responsible will actually be punished for the gift-giving.

A disgruntled EPSN staffer is selling a show-used Kruk towel on Ebay as the Shroud of Borin'

You have forgotten the face of your father.

Her willingness to wear white pants is proof enough that she was never in any real danger of bear attack.

Still better than the treatment everybody got under the Southwind Home Owners Association.

Maiava just couldn't take hearing one more green-hatted, boozed-up, asshole talk about what a sham his uncle is.

Good thing the TBI is taking this seriously. The initial investigation was performed by the Tennessee Metropolitan Investigation unit. But after hearing the lurid details officers abandoned the case for being "gross and none of their business".

Sure, the body armor didn't cover her face. But even if he had a gun, no way Benson, staring down his chest-protectored partner, is going to hit anything resembling a catcher's mitt.

He can't very well have a hook-hand, peg-leg, or eyepatch as a starting pitcher. So he's doing the best he can to get into the Pirate spirit by traveling around indiscriminately spraying his bag all over brown mounds.

She was a real sweetheart to me. I remember asking her to taste a dish I'd prepared. We were off-aid, so she could have just ignored me. But instead, she tried it, smiled, and told her son "Mmm finally. This is one of the good ones" as she nodded towards the dish in front of me.