Hey lady, that kind of behavior may go over in towns like Fankenstein, but NOT HERE.

By this point in the season, Sanchez is pretty used to people offering him unwanted Good News.

Indefinite suspension, a fine, and losing the captaincy? Pretty harsh. I'd say that the Maccabis threw the book at him, but it's more like they threw two.

Maccabi's defense is likely to suffer during Guy's absence. It'll be practically impossible for them to press.

An inane cinquain:

Though due to unfortunate circumstances, the Pierre Regional Airport is pleased with the added exposure it's been getting from Dwayne's rear windshield.

Pride of the Cankleys

[redact]

The FSU thing wasn't a big deal since most Catholics were already familiar with things getting stuck in purgatory because of SIDS.

And things kept getting worse for the women's sports coach. After being tragically separated from his love of volleyball and fired for being gay, Finley's mama died, he failed to land on the moon, then found a snake in his boot.

When a Zip is that open, there's bound to be a dick exposed.

People get upset when their teams Lusaka games.

Worst "Silver" pun of the election cycle? I assume you had to grin through some brutal interview intros. Kudos to you for conducting yourself so well.

I can understand F-ing up one name because of an oversight, but to F7 of them?

With today's tests for performance enhanced drugs, there's no way Jesus could compete. That guy was practically king of the juice.

An underperforming quarterback was stumbling around and stinking of peat? Somewhere, Norberto Garrido is cracking his knuckles.

Good thing she decided on that planting this year. Otherwise we'd have never heard of this story.

Ever since the first Vice President of the Browns Fanclub was forced to eat a second banana, the analogy-based initiation rites have spiraled into cruelty.

Also precious will be when those kids ask why they're named after two men best remembered for how their heads looked in Dallas.

Millionaire or not, Braden won't get anywhere in that town. If Stockton is well-known for anything, it's a high rate of stealing and a dogged loyalty to public servants.