Grant Wahl

Ronnie learned his lesson about keeping his word after Bill Walsh made him pinky swear they'd win the 1985 Super Bowl.

Although she did so freely and enthusiastically in her college officiating years, now that Eastin has made it to the NFL she'll only work as Back Judge on her husband's birthday.

Conversely, pictures from the Peristalsis Games may render you immobile.

Neil Armstrong's soul reincarnated in Snooki's baby

Always dangerous when a field event is too close to a trach.

Imagine the ribbing he'll get from his teammate after he jipped them out of an easy out.

Kid plays fast and ferrous.

Is theTaung Child the closest thing in human (& pre-human) evolutionary history to a dead baby joke? Any other fossils refer to a grim yet hilarious spectacle of life in that time period?

How many times did you call your office's Green Mountain rep Pithecanthropus erectus before he figured it out?

If he's going to be taken seriously as a writer, Sandusky should start calling his wife by her proper name, Ellipsis.

No stranger to blanks flying out unexpectedly, Brandon Lee's body double finished out the tournament in the boy's place.

8/6 Olympic Dismissals

Michaels: Folks, it appears we've spoken too soon. The cyclist was declared dead at the scene of the accident after resuscitation attempts failed. Minutes later in the ambulance though, the victim sat up and is apparently unharmed. This is, truly, nothing short of a culturally significant hockey game.

The waterlogged shirt was really impeding Tim's jog. Before stripping it off, he had fallen under its weight three separate times.

Seems the culprit was planning on extorting Cal by threatening strangulation in a darkly poetic ransom note.

The team credits their unique warm-up regimen of standing outside the stadium selling extra tickets.

It's also the 245th instance of a woman being attacked and permanently scarred by an aquatic weasel. The first 244 all took place in the Playboy Mansion Grotto.

Sandusky: I didn't rape those kids!

Patient: Help Mr. EMT, help! My father's had a stroke and lost all control of his facial muscles