Seems enough parents of young children are commenting, so can someone give me (a non-parent) a quick rundown of the size, mobility, and strength of a typical two year old?

@dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac: Oahu knows

TRON Light Cycle Scene

Today in Horrifying Ascot Unveilings

You throw in stones after a man has fallen into a well.

Not qualifying as verbal abuse were Dorsey's repeated commands for players to "Shape it up", "Get Straight", "Go Forward", and "Move Ahead"

During the long nights of game-planning, Les can oftentimes be found at his desk gazing longingly at his most cherished childhood keepsake. A Jimmy Dugan autographed baseball.

"Not enough whoopee cakes"

Andy's parents were unable to control his over-eating. They always put him in timeout at inopportune times with little disciplinary impact.

not so long ago the NHL's party line on open-ice hits to the head or body ...: "Keep your head up."

Fondling young boys' genitals is bound to get him Messi.

David-

Figures that the media is in an uproar when the dog is a blonde that everyone can identify with. If that was a chocolate lab, we wouldn't have heard word one.

"I have a gift and sooner or later I have to give it away.I have to share it. Hopefully I'll get the opportunity here."

I wake up the next day, take a shower, and get the mattress replaced.

Dramatic evenings following a Phillies pitcher's crotch mishap usually end with Kim Myers whimpering in the fetal position.

@Jefferson Short Bus: -1 tumor presence

@A Pimp Named DaveR: mid-rant:

Forget the implications for later tonight. Pat knows that playing well in this series will cost him a decade's worth of work selling Gary Barbera Nissans.

That's nothing. We used to sexually assault a refrigerator.