that must have been a huge sign.

Funny because it's true.

Finally they recognize Skyline chili for what it is!

All those dogs are dead now.

Regular karaoke bars suck. Karaoke bars with private rooms (BYOB and BYOD) are fucking awesome.

Wait, didn't FAMU's band kill a freshman last year?

So now they're beating memes to death too?

See? Truthers.

If you aren't drinking Left Hand, you are wasting your time:

There's this thing you do when you assume your readers aren't complete fucking morons (lol) where you just write about something in a totally flat tone because the thing itself is so obviously absurd that just straightforwardly describing it points up its absurdity, which is funny—we live in a strange world!—but then…

Jesus, hey Chicago, let's try and step it up a bit. Neither of these Chitown franchises can outspend any other clubs but the Astros and Marlins, huh? Seriously criminal.

Ha! The Big Ten sucks! Clever route you chose to take Deadspin writer who will never be promoted to bigger and better things. As a Northerner, I take comfort in the fact that we care 1/52 as much about Amateur sports as the South does. The South does so because of a weird sense of identity they have with their state…

Come on , son. You can do much better than that.

Actually, I think we call them "internships".

Mark Emmert: "You pay them 10%?! What a ripoff!!"

I saw Insane Masturbatory Rampage open for Slayer in '92.

"What are you gonna do tonight, Stef?"

Billy, I hate to nitpick, but I have a problem with the headline. The phrase "insane, masturbatory rampage" should be "insane masturbatory rampage." You shouldn't use a comma when the last adjective outranks its predecessor and is an integral part of the noun phrase. In this case, the rampage is not both insane…

Again, Welker was out performed by someone younger.