Sure beats the Marlins' promo. Buy a scratch-off a day for the next 379,000 years and pay off Jeffrey Loria's own baseball stadium.

Uh, there was an actual Supreme Court behind the tarp, wasn't there?

This is a prime storyline for that Anastasia / Lady and the Tramp / All Dogs Go To Heaven crossover screenplay I've been working on.

Who knew Buster was a truther?

Who else saw this commercial live and waited for this article to pop up?

A Patriots fan in denial?

But only if they build a bigass wall around themselves so the rest of us don't have to patrol the border.

I used to love Gus Johnson, but I can't argue with you on that too much. He's essentially riding on his gimmick of trying to make everything exciting by yelling and in the mean time he doesn't know players names, is late on calls, etc.

Texan?

I tend to call it Dumbfuckistan.

Oh Mr. Judgmental, what's worse: a guy peeing in public, or someone who takes a picture of a guy peeing in public, goes home, uploads it to his computer, saves it in a folder called work stuff/2009 audit/accountant copy/backup, kisses his wife, puts the kids to bed, settles in to watch tv, falls asleep on the couch,…

To all the people commenting on the dude's wang size, I say:

"Wow, that guy's got a huge dick!"

so what was it like before the kaiser stole the number twenty?

"No-good copycats. Goddammit."

-Sam Bacon, President, AHL's Southwest Sadistic Birther Idiot Sheriffs

PSA: Don't buy White Castle burgers from a guy at White Castle. They were made at White Castle.

It also helps to deliver the best Super Bowl halftime performance ever...and having nature on your side. It had never rained at the Super Bowl (or at least during the halftime show)...until Prince began performing Purple Rain.

"120 pounds," quoth the Ravens. "Nevermore."

What a stupid thing to do.

The Metropolitan is a train wreck and wide open, and New Jersey can't afford to forfeit many more points to sentimentality.