Oh no, lost draft picks! I'm sure the Patriots are quaking in their boots, considering that's the same non-punishment that they got last time.

Are you reading off the ESPN cue cards, you fucking shill?

They've cheated before and if they're found guilty of this, then I think it's fair to question, if not discredit, everything they've done. But thank you for giving us a preview of what the mainstream sports media, ever the Patriots homers, are going to say to keep their boys from being TOO guilty.

Why? He's a drunken asshole with probably at least one STD who's crashed way too many college keggers to not have raped at least one woman, and he plays for the Patriots. I hope his dick rots off.

Rob Gronkowski's crashed way too many college keggers to not have raped at least three women.

He's obviously channeling Bill Belichick so that makes him a genius!

Liccardo sees a no-lose situation for the city because its attorneys, led by famed antitrust lawyer Joe Cotchett, are handling the case on a contingency. The lawyers get paid only if they are successful.

They also have a club in Australia for the same purpose.

Of course they have no incentive to invest. That's why the players have to give them one.

It needs to happen, if you ask me. Penny-pinching clubs like the Red Bulls and vanity clubs like NYCFC and the not-yet-in-the-league Miami club need to spend money on their players and the product on the field. A player's strike may make them realize that (but I'm not holding my breath).

God, New York deserves so much better- not just in MLS, but in every sport.

The MC stressed that this year's participants are all good boys and girls, but some dogs are more good than others.

Who gives a shit. It's not your call to make all pundits believe the same thing.

Alpha Chi Omega was the most image-conscious and selective of the sororities at my college and they would absolutely freak out at this shit. I guess that's a liberal arts college for you.

Fun fact: the Mets do blood drives at Citi Field and you get 2 free tickets for giving blood.

I've never seen a 750ml bottle of La Fin du Monde, only the 12-oz. ones. That's perfectly fine- I couldn't drink a whole three-quarter liter bottle. It's good- DAMN good- but it hits you hard.

How DARE you besmirch the good name of Robert Kraft! Never mind he's invited Henry Kissenger and Rush Limbaugh into his box.

God, do they fucking ever. THANK YOU.

I'm sure every Tom Dick and Sully from Brockton to Lynn wants to know- "why didn't this fuckin' queeah bash some dahkie skulls?"

Somebody find out when and where they're doing a fourth interview so somebody can fill the room with poison gas.