Whatever, Mom.

How do people get so lucky that they live where there are SEA LIONS roaming around? How cool is this? WHY CAN'T WE HAVE THESE INSTEAD OF ALLIGATORS, GOD?

ARE YOU CALLING ME A FUCKING SEA LION?!?!?!

FUCK YOU, ALICE E. HIERS!

"because the cat has gone limp like an Occupy Portland protester"

How could you even be upset being ousted by an adorables sea lion? Clearly, that sea lion is the boss of the bench. If that had happened in a prison yard, dude would be owned by the sea lion.

It's like when my cat hogs the bed and I just curl around him because the cat has gone limp like an Occupy Portland protester…

I'm putting in my nomination early this year. "Professional idk" and "Business Coachella" should get you shortlisted for whatever GM's version of the Pulitzer is, Callie.

Why would someone waste their money on organic cat litter that doesn't even come into contact with people or animals? Of all the things to buy organic....this is like a negative number on the list.

Ugh, god, trigger warning.

I'm treating this like "Yeah, Jeets." I know it isn't true but I'm consciously choosing to believe it anyway.

Gives his trademark hand gesture a whole new meaning.

I worked with a really religious lady who suggested I talk to my husband about Jesus and warned me of the dangers in an interfaith relationship. The look on her face when I pointed out we're both agnostic was pretty priceless.

Back during the height of the original hubbub after his suspension from the show or whatever, he and his family came to Charleston, WV for a "Take a Stand! Be a Duck!"...event thing. It was promoted on the radio for WEEKS about how they'd talk about "standing up to bullies" and continually stressing that "anyone of…

Why in the absolute shit has the big story from this not been about how he thinks black Americans were better off before the civil rights movement? How in the hell has this not been about his "It was better when the darkies didn't argue" rhetoric?

"Judge not, lest ye be judged."

For Phil and his legions of fans, I'd like to point out 2 Timothy 3, verses 1 through 5, from the very book he loves to quote so often:

No, we totally can. You're free to say any moronic thing you want to just as I'm free to react to the moronic things that come out of your mouth. Reacting to stupidity is not a repudiation of someone's first amendment rights.

I take comfort in the fact that the greedy won't make it into heaven. So Phil and the rest of his clan who put on their hickface routine and slap their names on every single piece of bric-a-brac they can con the Wal Mart crowd into buying will spend eternity with the rest of us heathens.

I'm just SO glad to live in a place full of homersexuals, tramps, and vegemotarians right now.

pretty sure the bible also has a verse somewhere about not wearing camo in church.

When this whole thing started, I was flabbergasted by how many people said they watched because "They seem like a nice family who really love each other." Same with Honey Boo Boo and the Kardashians.