See, Donald, mixing two seemingly different things together can work. Now, just pour that bleach in with that ammonia.

At least ATHF was successful once by its own doing.

Watching that was like God winking at me after ripping a tremendous fart upwind of Donald Sterling's home. It was glorious.

I've had cats like this. Some cats can become quite attached to children and can get very protective of their babies. Also, cats are territorial as fuck and lose their shit if another animal wanders into their territory. I have personlly witnessed my previous cat march straight up to a german shepard and smack it in…

Cats get way too much of a reputation for being cold and heartless. Just because you're an independent minded apex predator doesn't mean you don't have a heart.

Cats are amazing guardians of little kids. I had two cats in my crib from the first day I came home from the hospital and my Mom said they made it their job to protect me from strangers. Any funny odors or sounds in the house, the cats came crying to her until she checked on me.

unfortunately we can't put down owners.

We at Team Dog regret this incident and plan on investigating further.

I'm looking at you, people who think your dog is friendly and well-behaved enough to be off of a leash. You're all assholes.

"Oh, no you don't, dog. That's MY kid that only I get to attack and traumatize."

Many cats believe they own their caretakers, which explains why they love to rub off their scents on people's legs.

What the fuck, dog? That was a real dick move!

I once called the police on a friend of mine who left a party at my house way too drunk to drive. We'd taken her keys but she had an extra key in her wallet and she was one of those belligerent drunks who thinks everyone is out to ruin their good time. The best part of the story — outside of the fact that she did not…

My neighbor used to say "Witch, listen. I got too many DUIs. I could either quit drinking or quit driving....so I quit driving." He was one of the worst behaved alcoholics I ever knew (including breaking into my apartment to talk to me about something, then telling me he was going to call the cops on me if I didn't…

LOOK AT YOU, YOU ARE SO FLIPPIN CUTE

hour 3 of the four hour lunch meeting with Finance and HR

he looks like he's on his way to a four hour lunch meeting with Finance and HR.

Re: Matt Bomer

this looks like some sort of heart/body monitor.