That loud sound you hear isn't the sound of applause for this move , it's the sound of the Ravens' collective hamstrings snapping from all that backpedaling.

This is likely to cause a whole new round of debate. But if there's anyone who's ready for a knockdown-drag out fight, it's Ray Rice.

The handrail in the elevator has also expressed regret for its involvement.

Still on sale, ladies:

Well, so much for "But we didn't see what really happened in that elevator."....

"Son'd."

"As a <s>black</s> person." Go on...

Barry's Petcheckdown Receivers

Hey, we prefer "a lot to love".

However, for the tenth year in a row, the most common thing a fantasy football owner is called is "dangerously overweight".

Here's a free one: Please Samer, Don't Hurt Em. It really only works if your name's Samer.

Probably Barry Bonds. I'd love to be able to convince him to do technical analysis of swing planes and release points and such during the playoffs.

deez nuts

as chris kluwe slowly decends into madness, which living pro athlete would you like to join DS as a semi-coherent writer? bonus points if that writer has a clear and concise voice, i don't know why Kluwe thinks we need two Magarys.

See what I mean? Commenting going to shit. No mention at all of how far can I punt a football. F minus.

That's not the full email—the rest is boring stuff about family news—but I did not make it up. My dad has very hot sports takes.

but we could probably complete a game of jeopardy

I can see why you'd be partial to Greg, Chris. Neither of you can finish a 40 yard dash.

So now you've sued the only business that needs punters and slammed the only media that follows punters. You're a real fucking genius.