I need more details about your Viking friend. <3

One time I got broken up with by my long-time crush after officially dating for one whole day, yep. He strung me along for a long time before that happened. He broke up with me while in his car, after a party. (so I was drunk on 2 40oz of Cobra I think) He said we would never work together or something, I mostly…

I misread the title of this article as simply "Pitbull is Coming for Taylor Swift's Job" rather than "This Pitbull" and briefly had some amazing images of Mr. 305 himself singing "Shake it Off."

I had missed the stories about Tom Milsom, Alex Day, and Edplant. I'm so disappointed — I had loved their work, independently and in their collaborations, but I won't support them again. Good on the Greens for dropping them from the DFTBA label, and what a shame that such popular artists turned out to be such…

Seriously, fuck that last family. I would have done every unsanitary thing possible to their meals short of giving them e coli, and even then I would consider it.

Pete Davidson, the show's first cast member born in the 90s.

So what happens to all of us super angry disappointed people who can't get a Barbie who says "What the fuck?"

I work with people with developmental disabilities and consequently have a lot of poop stories. Here's one of my better and less disgusting ones:

How much do you want to bet that Steven has never had to work hard at a job in his life and that he came from a privileged background?

Or, to put it more accurately: Ricky Gervais, the British comedian who is absolutely nothing like Louis C.K.

None of that makes sense. Louis C.K.'s humor is self-directed. His comedy isn't mean-spirited, and he's the butt of his jokes. It's openly self-aware. Ricky Gervais tackles the same material, but directs it at others, not himself. David Brent is a blowhard moron, who, unlike Louie, doesn't recognize that he's a…

Louis C.K. has his moments where I've disagreed with him but I've given him major points for acknowledging that he has white (male) privilege. Not many comics will acknowledge that let alone bring it up in their routines.

This is getting scary that you can be charged/prosecuted for having a miscarriage. If your body doesn't cooperate like it *should* and carry the fetus to term, be prepared to suffer consequences. As if you can even prevent a miscarriage or that a teenager would know what to do in that situation.

How the shit can you "abandon" a miscarriage?

Was she not already in the hospital? Where do people have surgery these days?

Don't fuck with Retta OR Donna Meagle.

He has also insulted Gabourey Sidibe, who I consider my BFF (we once attended the same party and danced to the same song, therefore we're half way to bff status, she just doesn't know it yet).

The only thing that'll stop a bad 9-year-old with a gun is a good 9-year-old with a gun.

Pitches love vibrato.