A friend some years ago worked supporting an AIDS benefit I believe in Philadelphia where Patti was one of the guests/benefactors. She took a shine to him and invited him to dinner, which he dismissed just as talk. Imagine his surprise when she actually reached out to him soon afterwards to have him over for dinner…

Patty Griffin will be releasing her 10th studio album on 3/8/2019.  

I was once sexting a guy when I was about 20 when he suddenly replied “...and *insert name* has gone splat. Goodnight” and stopped texting. Yes, he referred to himself in the third person. Yes, that was the last time I engaged in sexting with him.

I got one a year ago, and it was a link to a porn video accompanied by “thought you’d like this.” I asked why and he replied, “it reminds me of u.” I hadn’t heard from this guy in over 6 months and I haven’t slept with him since 2012.

Also the prestigious scientific website Journal Of You Must Be A Lesbian If You Won’t Go Out With Me.

This is...confusing. I’m really not sure what the relatively well known breeding and feeding habits of penguins has to do with human relationships, and certainly the severe impact of climate change and the evolutionary development of female penguins giving birth then leaving to feed while the male penguin incubates…

It’s maddening when a woman’s life is to who she married or who her offspring is. My obituary will read “no one’s wife and mother of none is dead; therefore, no one cares.”

So, just so we’re all clear: 

Can’t beat a good ol’ fashioned “national emergency”.

Lot of people being really shittily dismissive of this. Everyone should take a look at the syllabus linked to get a better understanding of why you shouldn’t be acting like this is nothing. Saying “it’s just science” or “DNA doesn’t” lie ignores the fact that those parameters have been defined by people outside…

If pornography is the new sex education maybe conservatives should not have opposed sex education in schools for so long.

It’s semi clever, but I’m still horrified that the goddamn sitting president is tweeting memes making fun of senators.

Yes, I know it’s not unusual behavior for Donnie, but we should never stop being horrified. 

He’s not getting any calls of support because the white house switchboard is shut down right now.

I’m gonna go with the Manchurian Candidate instead of the Aritocrats, if only because of how batshit crazy the Trump - Russia connection is.

No big.

“It has been a high hoagie to serve the Presidul and the Ammmumm Joseph as @ satan secretag. We hum reitare am publum lards ‘lmm the honobob ad anjgnal ob te poople ; severed poble amms, and stool mmmm he hold halga agoon to on onagg needs. God Dless Ammumm ad thee wb delad hops.”

Someone should call up the writers of…

My favorite part is that he included the @ symbol to get the twitter handle into the handwritten letter.

We’ve restored public lands “for the benefit & enjoyment of the people,”

Honestly the right message here is not “It won’t be the rest of your life!” its, “it could be the rest of your life, and that’s okay! you do you girl!”

My favorite thing about this rationalization apart from it being massive hyperbole. Is that it applies REALLY well to gun control and mass shootings in schools. Assuming it’s very rare, it happened, and it happened to a ton of children. But somehow, that one is just a bridge too fucking far.