The way you’ve used that gif is... it’s just magical.

Good lord, that was an unsettlingly funny joke.

Sorry, I’ll get right on changing my favorite because it doesn’t jive with yours.

Luke, thank you for the lovely Mitchell & Webb reference. That is possibly my favorite sketch show of all time.

A BILLION UPVOTES FOR MITCHELL AND WEBB LOOK!!!

My girlfriend’s mother is pretty open with her (and me, by just being in her proximity) about her sex life, and I gotta be honest: I’ve come to the conclusion that some things are just best left unsaid. Find a middle ground, keep things sorta vague, and don’t be gross.

I’m sorry, but... that’s the coolest thing I’ve ever seen.

He’s like a white Morgan Freeman. Those dulcet tones are like a sonic quaalude. It’s like if Ben Carson were coherent, and not awful.

Blind? I’m surprised he isn’t working on the guide.

Spirit of my Yeezy, I can hear you...

You should listen to his music, there’s a lot of complexity in there.

I’ve always said that “All Lives Matter” is like being mad that Race For The Cure isn’t also for prostate cancer. It may be an important thing, but not everything needs to be part of the conversation at all times, and sometimes you need to focus on JUST ONE PROBLEM.

You’re really pissed off that someone spoiled the ending of Snowpiercer for you on the grounds that you planned to watch it “someday”?

I have a very smart girlfriend. Spent her entire education with straight-A’s, graduated high school and college with honors, excels at work...

How is Pokemon the “Call of Duty of Nintendo”? This will be the first new gen since ‘13.

Christ, the smarminess of this post is goddamn overwhelming.

Roger Ebert once said, “No good movie is too long, and no bad movie is short enough.” I don’t care how long a game is, if it sticks with me, it was worth my time. Games like Gone Home and Journey are short, but they’re experiences. I haven’t played Firewatch, but I imagine it’s the same: short, but meaningful in some…

I spent $18 on snacks so that my girlfriend, her high school friend, and I could have munchies while high in a hotel on Thursday.

Simmer down, Edgy 12-Year-Old Who Just Discovered Jezebel. You can dislike people who don’t affect your life in any way without being miserably bitchy about it. You can just... not listen to his music.

“Imma go research some shit, maybe go crazy” “AIGHT”