Goddamnit, even when the Dolphins game gets 5 throwgasms the note is still some shitty anecdote!

A guy is on safari in Kenya and he sees an elephant in obvious distress. The elephant won't put weight on his left front foot. He speaks softly and calmly to the great beast and slowly approaches until the elephant gives him his foot. The guy sees a giant thorn in the elephants foot. He pulls out the thorn and the…

They took some liberties at the end.

Well done, sir.

So: while inhaling the fragrance of a woman’s front bottom, the male subjects were shown photographs of women with varying degrees of conventional beauty and asked to rate their attractiveness. The findings were remarkable. While huffing even the synthetic scent of clam dish, men were unable to discern or rank women’s…

You may have missed possibly the most shocking angle on this, Jason Whitlock may have been right.

HamNo has already made a "tribute" video and posted it to Fapdu

I laughed.

I laughed.

These guys are the comedic equivalent of a missed field goal.

If you had kept the first line and signed it D. Cheney, G.W. Bush or C. Powell that would have been gold

A lack of foresight is common with Leaf fans. That's why every fall they say its their year.

Easy pal, we've all had to choke down a Bud Light while watching a game.

It amazes me that I see genuinely funny comments/commenters in the greys, but this JACK!!! WAD!!! isn't there.

Yeah! Real tough guys talk shit about dead girls anonymously on the Internet. Die. Quickly.

I was actually looking forward to this season until I read the Dolphins piece. Ha, Christ that isn't even close to true. 6 wins will be a miracle. FML.

Even worse, he put their combine underwear photos on You Got Posted.

Don't worry Brynden, it's a long season and this will soon be forgotten.
-M.S.

I heard Cooper asked if Willims had heard the new Jigga album.

I'd say she looks like a drag queen but that's insulting to drag queens.