Hey, from a straight, white, cis lady to anyone who needs it:

I still have a dream that I’m in my childhood home and a shark is just flopping around in the living room. At first, I’m like, “it’s cool, I’ll just stay out of that room.” Then, the house begins slowly filling with water. I go upstairs, knowing that it’s only a matter of time before the shark can swim up and get me.…

and force me to live as its imprisoned companion beneath the house.

Light keeping away the monsters was the explicit premise of Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark, from 1973, and that movie...did not help me.

That’s so perfect! I find him attractive not because he’s handsome, but because he’s so darn charming. 22 Jump St is genuinely one of my favourite movies.

Have you seen 21 Jump Street? The man is hilarious.

I thought you were going to tell a story where he was a jerk to you! Instead, this is an unhappy story in a happy way!

Counterpoint: When times get bad, and times get rough, they should let him book some solo dates so he can do his stuff.

Also egregious was that time she made a t-shirt shirt with a stupid pun aimed at shaming her boyfriend’s wife. Said wife didn’t want to divorce Julia’s boyfriend, and that made Julia mad because she wanted to get married. I’m more laissez-faire about affairs than most people, but going the extra step of gloating and ru…

My mother has Alzheimers and spends a great deal of time in bed watching TV. She can’t follow very well, so she flips around and ends up watching crap. Not too long ago, I found her watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians. I said, “Mom, why are you watching this shit?” and she says, “I can’t help it. It’s…

Y’all I am CONVINCED that Gaga and Bradley are having an affair. You can't tell me SHIT. 

Interesting that we’re wondering what’s up with NPH here, but nobody’s bringing up the kabillion very fucked up things Whoopi’s said over the years. I’m Team Neither, in general, but I think it’s fair to say that they’re both pretty flawed.

I’m sorry, but I still don’t understand how working with Bloom’s *husband* means he definitely knows her. I couldn’t pick out 95% of my coworker’s spouses in a lineup. Also, she annoys the ever living shit out of me, so while in general NPH is insufferable, I was totes on his side for that particular beef.

Uh, I am old enough to remember Clara’s Heart. Harris was a little kid. If she said anything about having sex with him, she was being fucking gross.

Wait ...

That is a strange article, like it almost sounds like we’re supposed to feel bad that Whoopi was put in an awkward situation for making a very inappropriate remark to a child? If the genders were reversed, I think we would be treating this differently.

He found out his rehab nurse’s mother’s name was Martha.

Time to drop this clown; it gets worse every day. Somebody’s got to be an adult in that rancid party and say...

He is the only one who thinks US v Nixon was wrongly decided and also posits that the President is immune to subpoena or prosecution.