Sorry Grov, I didn’t mean it as a slight toward you.

I had to look up AAVE! Thanks for your response. I definitely do use words I grew up with that fit in this category, like chill for example. Some words are so common now that they’re so widely used I wonder how they can be avoided. Like, cool, for example. I get your point though, for sure.

It’s thankfully going away but it used to be socially acceptable to think of nappy hair as being undesirable. That’s probably why you heard it so often.

At this point, it just carries racist connotations because it implies that you have uncivilized hair. Some people’s hair is just naturally nappy and it doesn’t mean…

I don’t generally think of this word as a slur, and I heard it all the time growing up, but this is to me something that white people shouldn’t say. It is sort of like hearing someone white speaking in AAVE. It’s just like , “Why are you talking like that?”  It does offend the ear.  Without being convinced that you…

“but I understood I shouldn’t say it”

You also heard Black friends and neighbors use it. I think it’s an example of words that can be weaponized outside of the community that might use them as a jest or an insult; they’re really loaded terms to be used by a white person. 

Like so many words, I think nappy can mean different things in different contexts. I think it’s about the intent. I have two children’s books with “nappy” in the title, and they’re celebrations of black hair - attempts to reclaim the word from its negative connotations, many of which have taken firm hold in the black…

Were you hearing “nappy” by itself, or “nappy headed”? I’m betting it was the former, which doesn’t necessarily carry the same implications as the latter.

What about Polly Klaas? She was a later ‘80s kidnaped and murdered by a stranger girl whose abductor was captured and prosecuted. Her Nor Cal case was on the news at every stage. Cannot remember if they executed the kidnaper or he died. Polly’s father, Mark, was a vigorous activist for a while but I don’t hear…

Not saying you’re wrong, but it’s worth noting that Patrick Bateman was also Team Phil.

What’s missing from this article is that they’ve been divorced for 12 years. They divorced in 2008, reunited for the sake of the kids in 2015/2016 and were living together in his house but not married. Given that the house was purchased by him when they weren’t married, there’s no reason she should have a right to it.

I WILL say that there are a few places where MRA have a point (in particular family courts), but usually the point is not the one they think it is, and it is about the gendered roles of the patriarchy being oppressive for men as well as for women.

So here we are again a few weeks out from election day, being treated to daily pieces about how his campaign is imploding, and he’s basically already lost. It’s not that I don’t believe that’s probably true. But shit, I have a horrible sense of deja vu. Am I alone in that? I am way too fucking terrified to be…

This is exactly what I meant! I'm so glad you were okay! 

I’m a man but yea it was pretty messed up.

THIS! Those assholes straight up broke the number one public transit code, if a lone traveller is being harassed you bring them into your travel fold! 

The real creeps in your story were the jerks who ditched you! What kind of people just leave a mom and child to deal with someone like that?!

If you’re just looking for the text, PraiseBeTheIUD kindly posted that here: https://jezebel.com/1830079508. (I’m sure the visuals are amazing too, but I always like to see the complete story somewhere)

Sorry about that! We are re-uploading it now and you should be able to watch in closed-caption as soon as it refreshes, within 30 mins at most. Happy scaries!

I wish these were closed-captioned for hearing-impaired / deaf people. We like to freak ourselves out too!  :)