Doritos aren't so bad, but the only thing worse than mountain dew is watching you miss the joke most of the time, it makes me depressed about humanity.

Who says I'm being mean? That would most certainly have to be an inference based on some sort of empirical baseline knowledge of my personality for comparison, which it's safe to say you don't have. If, on the other hand we did suppose I was being mean, it would surely be a process of trying to stop you shoving…

I had a fantastic weekend, actually, thanks for asking. How was yours? Manage to get in lots of cool ranch doritos and mountain dew I trust?

Well turns out I guessed correctly, but not in precisely the same process as the puzzle. Interesting when you see it laid out though.

Oh, you! Witty as always, don't ever change. Unless it's into something awesome, obviously, considering how you're currently fairly expendable and all. You must be very self-loathing if you consider someone a bitch for having an interest in same sex relations yet inviting another guy out for a coffee. It certainly…

Perhaps these are the droid troopers you're looking for?

Sure, why not? I mean, we can always pick this up after so I'm cool with that. Just to be clear-anytime a girl asks me out for coffee it's almost always code for sex so as long as this isn't that then we're cool. If this *is* that, then I dunno...I'm gonna need to see a pic or something to start with at least. I mean,…

Thank you. Came here to post this and I think it makes me even happier that someone else posted it first.

I can verify that. Like a moron I decided to actually play it thinking, meh, 7mins? It is to text adventure games what QWOP is to Track and Field. I did genuinely laugh at the end though.

You know, I just don't think you're being genuine about this. You're words say 'go for 100' but your general demeanor and the way you come off in almost everything you do says 'I'm a massive pedo, please prison rape me until my butt is broken and I have HepC', you know? You probly get that a lot, but keep your chin up…

Looking forward to how dedicated you are to showing me that you really are as clever as you tell yourself in the mirror, till next time! ^_^

You know how whiny you get in the afternoons after a big day with the crayons so keep the sugar up, sweetie

Well, better let you get back to it, don't forget to eat your after school snack

And you're just itching to get back to COD and 360noscope some other kid from your class or whatever

It would make sense, all those hormones and chemicals flying around during puberty and all

Just something to think about. Mebbe you're getting frustrated with your own progress and feel the need to lash out?

You know, like you would with someone that had just crapped their pants, metaphorically speaking

Or think you're not all there, possibly even move a few steps away unconsciously

I mean, you never actually say it in conversation, ppl would look at you funny

It's one of those things you say as a joke, you know?