There was this time my mom found a small crack in her crystal egg. It’s a long story.

My dad used to joke when I had braces that all I needed in addition to those railroad tracks were glasses and then I would never find a husband.

That stunt also broke the world record for most barrel rolls assisted by a cannon.

Not to mention several ramped attempts as well before they got the final shot.

Did you see Spy?? It was so good. This is going to be great. We need more women in ridiculous comedies!!!!

Shut the fuck up. He was amazeballs in Varsity Blues and the Skulls.

Well at the end of the day... Who really gives a crap about people who noisily identify as “hardcore gamers”. They are annoying.

Really? What about my husband who travels as much as he is home and frequently has dinners or drinks with single women co-workers?

Sometimes I let him out in courtyard of my building, but not after dark. After dark he gets brave and I’m afraid someone’s going to take him home or he’s going to get hit by a car.

A shoutout to r/happycrowds, the subreddit where I found this cover a while back. Great place.

Hate me if you will, but this looks like the fox body of Mercedes vehicles.

An actual FIGHT between students would be a crime. Battery or etc, depending on how the jurisdiction labels it.

I guess being funny is like a muscle — if you don’t exercise it, you end up doing Norbit.

ME I DO I’M ORDERING 50

On Saturday during practice, [Ryan] Tannehill, after a couple of practice squad players forced turnovers, Tannehill made negative comments toward them, including saying: “Enjoy your practice squad paycheck, enjoy your practice squad trophy

Look, I know we all want to rush to judgment here but I’m guessing that, very reasonably, the man asked what those women were there for and they told him that they were there to cover a professional football team and he, quite rightfully, had to check if the Jaguars qualified.

This movie was my first thought when I saw the headline.