Emmitt Smith: So that’s why they call it an “oldbitchuary.”

♫ God bless America... land that I luff... dah dah dah dah, hmm hmm hmm, to the thing with the thing over there. Hmm hmm hmm hmm, hmm hmm prairies, hey Melania, is that snow? God bless America... la la la no. ♫

I understood, weiner.

If this were an action movie, then Draymond (the villain’s dumb, taunting righthand man) would get killed in a satisfying way by the hero near the end. So here’s hoping LeBron dunks him into the equator and then stands over him on the baseline as he scores his 60th point to put the Cavs up by 10 in the final minute of…

So assuming Lebron sees this tape, we should expect to see Darius Borke, a mysterious mustachioed gentleman with flowing blonde locks, join the Cleveland Cavaliers?

Understandable given how much time we’ve been spending together

He’s actually a piece of shit and if you’re defending him then so are you.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

They should only have one entrance/exit, and it should be controlled by armed guards to prevent anyone from entering or leaving without authorization. They should also eliminate windows, since those could be used as an access point. And perhaps the students should be able to earn “credits” at some kind of “commissary”…

“Horton, Here’s a Poo!”

That dunk was certainly worthy of the confetti celebration!

Strong candidate for worst overall facial hair in the candid crowd shot.

*continually restarts the video at 00:14*

It’s going to destroy Boston’s team chemistry when Kyrie Irving stars this post.

Don’t know how old the kid is, but he appears to be a great prospect already. A spitting image of a young Lou Gehrig.

On the 2nd floor there was a daycare center. 15 children were killed.

Um, Marlins Man did it, so by definition every Marlins fan could.

God bless Marlins Man and his cohort for doing the thing every Marlins fan wanted to do but couldn’t.

What do you have against Great Danes?

“The celebration - and they DESERVE it!”