Hmmm...I have "Decorations: Y/N" column, but I'm not sure where to put the bikini pizazz. Gonna have to add some pivot tables to my Pube Tracker sheet, I think.

I'm not a super-experienced climber by any means, but when I've done it I've relied more on pushing myself up through my legs than pulling with the arms. The arms bear some of the weight, true, but most of the time their job is to keep me from falling backward off the wall, and when necessary to hang in place while I…

Oh, Luanne. I miss you so.

I hate Improv Everywhere.

The correct response is:

I was coming here to be snarky about college shoved down people's throats, and I'm glad I am wrong and she also mentioned trades.

Why, I watched the first two-thirds of "MC Hammer: Behind the Music" and if there's one thing I learned about money, it's that it never runs out!

Tax breaks, social security, medicare and medical benefits, property rights, protection of shared assets, legal protection of any offspring. The legal stuff that marriage is REALLY about.

There's a lot of poop on our food anyway. Though usually not our own. Even though that's the safest of all poops.

I think his name is now something like, Lion King, Dog Lion, Lion Face, I'm really only sure about Lion being in there somewhere. Unless maybe it's a Tiger name? The true dangers in pot smoking seem to be terrible names and future memory problems.

So why doesn't she just hand out bags of low-sodium nuts or pomegranates or something that sends a healthy message? Or, much cheaper than that, she could just turn off her porch light and choose not to participate. But she wouldn't choose either of these options because her desire is to shame children for being…

You win one kale smoothie.

Being the most insufferable white woman at a brunch, I'm guessing.

I was just watching a documentary on the chimpanzee. I enjoyed watching the part where mumma chimpanzee put the placenta in a waterproof bag and then blogged about it. AHH NATURE.

there's a 90% chance your body will not struggle with getting pregnant, even if you want it to.

I remember in 7th grade health class being taught, "...and there is another term used for people who practice the rhythm method: they're called parents."

Yo, Boehner:

"But you were DRINKING that night? And you VOLUNTARILY went to a party full of older boys? And you ACCEPTED more alcohol off them? DIDN'T YOU REALISE THIS WOULD HAPPEN? WEREN'T YOU ENCOURAGING THEM WITH YOUR TEXTS? ISN'T IT TRUE YOU HAD A CRUSH ON THIS BOY?"

Oh look another occasion to call women humourless harpies because they don't respond with delight to harassment.