Hah, yeah, I'm afraid you'll have to keep living in a world that also contains VERY SEXY COCONUT BERRY VANILLA BODY SEX SHIMMER CARMEL CUCUMBER SPLASH OIL SPARKLE LOTION.

I object strongly because that's an ugly ad and a photoshop disaster.

for all your reaction gif needs

Did you know North Korea is a republic instead of a dictatorship because their name is People's Republic of Korea? Its right in the name, dum dum!

I wish more people understood that "pro choice" does not mean "pro abortion." I know a great, great many people who are personally anti-abortion ("No, I would never have an abortion...") but completely pro-choice ("....but it's not my business if anyone else does.")

Right! Also, in the audio, he keeps saying "In the old days, you didn't even get time off!" Well, in the old days, they also didn't let black people play. Pull yourself together.

Because your wife doesn't need your help the first couple of days.

Why would I take paternity leave?

I hereby declare this troll a loser under Goodwin Law. Case Closed

He's acting like Finland stole his girlfriend or something. Such personal rage...

Well, no. Finland was attacked by the Soviet Union and received no support from anywhere except finally from Germany. When you have to choose between Stalin and Hitler, it's not like there's a right choice.

Thank God: a white girl from a wealthy family who hates her parents can go to a private university.

Thanks for reminding me of Seymour. Now I'm sad.

It's good to know this look makes EVERYONE look horrible.

Huh. This article didn't end up being about what I expected. I thought you'd point out the millions of low-income women who have to work two or three jobs just to pay the rent—on top of caring for children, going to school, etc.

I sometimes put mayo on toast and eat just that. FAT, IT'S DELICIOUS.

I'm from Texas also (born in Houston) and I really have to disagree about that being "not a twang"... That is a strong accent. Not the thickest accent, but still a strong one. Most people in urban areas here DO NOT sound like that

Itchy palate is the root cause of my case of Bitchy Resting Face.

It's kind of an East Texas accent. A lot of Texans who live in urban areas don't have a twang or any sort of regional accent though!

Or the women who just miscarried, but could still test positive on a pregnancy test, and just need a fucking drink.