I am legitimately surprised it wasn't Rihanna making out with a blonde model.

I know there is no "good" time to let someone go but coordinating it in this way just feels wrong.

Now if they could only make an onion that doesn't scream when I cut into them. God, their screams still haunt my nightmares.

I did notice they continue to perpetuate the incorrect assertion that the pits will keep the guac from browning. SO not true.

Who else is old enough to remember this gem:

My cat ate a potato chip and barfed it up yesterday.

this is all my feelings about that fucker

Who's up for a girl's night out trip to go see this movie? There will be dinner, wine, and controlled screaming in the movie theater, followed up with dessert and coffee somewhere decadent.

Also thank god that blonde boring Brooke isn't back.

So cool how he's still pursuing his dream of making beautiful furniture. Never give up Chan.

Yeah, she needs to ride in on a giant lion and spew fireworks everywhere just to be mildly interesting. As it was, after that I only looked up from my phone to watch Lenny and Missy.

Tillis is, of course, a proponent of small government and limited interference right up until he reaches your vagina, which he would like to see vigorously probed with an ultrasound wand if you need to get an abortion, which of course he'd like to see banned altogether. Of course.

I like Stacey Dash more when she used to only say lines other people wrote for her.

I feel like this one is especially appropriate for this topic:

Saying that woman who likes to go out and have sex (which is what I assume she means when she says "be naughty") in any way deserve to be raped is as stupid as saying that anyone who likes to go shopping and spend a lot of money deserves to be robbed.

I give it to my soon to be US History students in their last grading period. They are soon to be high school seniors. A few do very well. They are often the children of immigrants.

By america she meant Texas and all those other territories in its shadow. So feel free to renounce Obama and reaffirm your allegiance to Texas and all its territories.

Funny, considering that the immigrants who have to take a legally binding oath of citizenship, and the nativeborns don't have to.

OMG ashes of roses. Mauve! Not gonna lie. I was heavy into mauve in the 80's.