That does sound difficult! It sounds like your partner shouldn't have made that comment about the food being spicy, shouldn't have thrown the food away, and shouldn't have offered your son another option, since you gave him something he was able and happy to eat. (Assuming that he doesn't have health or other problems…

I have a PhD and my husband has a job that is specific to our home city and pays three times what I made in my last teaching job— in other words, neither of us has ever considered that he would move. We lived apart for three years until I decided that I had given teaching enough of a try and it wasn't for me. I think…

No two parents are going to have the same fears for their child, unless maybe they are Cersei and Jaime Lannister. :)

However, I don't know how I'm going to straddle that line between, "Your mom loves you, your family loves you, but the rest of them hate you so watch your back and do this, this, this, and that."

A bit of (light-heartedly-intended!) pedantry:

Oh, I hear you on the asking, I have been there with an unemployed (now ex) husband who spent his days playing video games because (according to him) there was no point in looking for a job until his unemployment insurance ran out. Oh, except he wouldn't do it even when asked, so I guess your husband has that going…

I think it probably depends on who you know and what you are looking for. I am not particularly attractive or at all glamorous! :) But it was really just an example to show that there are definitely places where your age would not be an issue at all.

I do think the advice is bad because statistics have shown that people who marry younger are more likely to get divorced. (In addition to many of the smart comments other people have made about the sexism and classism of her approach.)

Wow, this all sounds so overwhelming! I'm sorry you are in that situation. I wonder what would happen if you printed this out and gave it to him? Do you think he has any idea how you feel? I hope you guys can find a way to make things work better for you.

I am so sorry you are going through that. It was hell for me, and full disclosure, we did have other issues (ahem, infidelity). But, the bright spot is that I have been so much happier since we split, even before meeting my husband. After that initial period of feeling horrible, I felt like I had a new lease on life…

Oh, me too on the dishes. My current husband and I used to split both of those chores, but nowadays I do most of the cooking and he does most of the cleaning. I am more of a mess maker and he is kind of a neat freak, so it works better that way.

I actually think this is a really important point— not only parents deserve to have time for the rest of their lives. Everybody deserves it, and if everybody demanded it, maybe we could have it. Treating it as a mom's issue means it will probably not get better any time soon.

I was in a marriage like the one you fear in my twenties. Resentment is a perfect word for it. Even something as simple as dinner became a fraught issue, because every night would go like this:

Yeah, honestly, I thought that if we moved into a district with decent but not highly sought-after schools we'd be fine. I can help supplement the education if it isn't great, at least until high school when we might have to rethink our situation. The city has to find a spot for the kids somewhere, but that opens up…

We have a similar income and are ok for the time being with one kid in Queens. But the school situation is seriously messed up. Our neighborhood school is nothing special but seems fine (I am of the opinion that a decent elementary + involved parents will probably work ok), but it is so overcrowded that we can't be…

A lot of people in my (middle class) neighborhood do nanny shares with two or three families.

Yup, I insisted on the same thing when we bought our place a couple of years ago. I don't know if it works like this, but I wondered what would happen if we split up and there was no history of me living anyplace for X years because legally I would have been living in someone else's house. Would landlords consider me…

The outrage is because you refuse to accept that women of color perceive racism in mainstream American feminism. Why not listen to what they have to say and learn, rather than denying how they feel? Your reaction is proving her point— you refuse to even acknowledge there is a problem and discount her experiences.…

You said that anybody who says they are from Brooklyn makes you internally roll your eyes. You later clarified that you meant only northern Brooklyn, and only 20-somethings. My point from the beginning was that you used "Brooklyn" as shorthand for a certain segment of the population in a few neighborhoods. Your…

I'm really glad I left Brooklyn/NY. Now every time I meet someone who says they're from there I just sort of internally roll my eyes.