The thing that amazes me is how varied the answers to this question are. A mom I know told me that she found a wipes warmer indispensable but that I could skip the changing table. Meanwhile, I have never felt a need for a wipes warmer, but my back could not stand it if I had to lean over the bed or be down on the…

In my experience you won't have to communicate much to the tailor— if she is good, she'll know how the garment should look and what needs to be done. (Aside from a matter of preference like how long the skirt is.) If you just go in and say that you think it is too roomy, she will know what to do. When I had my wedding…

I made lamb meatballs seasoned with garlic, ginger, paprika, coriander, cumin, tumeric, and cilantro; rice; and eggplants stuffed with tomato, onion, garlic, and cilantro. Recipes from a Moroccan cookbook.

Here's what bothers me about the argument that men should be able to have financial abortions (and I'm replying to you because I recognize your screen name, whereas I'm not convinced that the original poster wasn't just doing the common MRA thing of pretending to have an honest, innocent question about a hot-button…

I just wanted to chime in with a couple of things. One is that she might be on a short-term contact as something like a visiting assistant professor or adjunct professor, in which case I think calling herself a professor is ok— and since she is temporary, she might not be listed on the school's website as faculty. I…

Funny you should mention that. All of my mentors have been women, including when I was in grad school, despite the fact that my adviser was a man. His brand of mentoring seemed to be about keeping the boys' club intact— he'd take a few favored male students to play tennis at the lawn club, but never any women. The…

Why is this grey, these sound amazing?! Can you get a job developing these and save us from the drivel?

You mention her innocence not having been proved a couple of times. "Innocent until proven guilty" is deeply ingrained in the American justice system, so that is why the predominantly American readership here (and American author) isn't concerned with this point.

Wow, 600+ people! I was thinking more of the second-tier friends mentioned in the original comment— what you describe totally makes sense!

Oh, no, I didn't think you were trying to start something with me! I didn't want you to think I was starting something with you! But now that you've made the Thailand analogy I understand what you mean.

I really don't want to start shit with you, because I have planned a wedding and I know how difficult it can be to keep to a budget while satisfying the wants/needs of a variety of people who feel entitled to tell you how the wedding should be. But I do sort of feel like there is a disconnect between "I invited you…

Yeah, it really goes against what I thought the definition of a gift is, but I have been surprised to hear people say that they think they have to send a gift if they get an invitation, and so they consider getting invited a gift grab.

I guess you are right. We just did a local, very small wedding (close family and a few friends) and casually dropped into conversation how small it was going to be so people wouldn't be offended if they didn't receive an invitation. It seemed to work ok, but I guess that depends on the people you know.

You have to say something to your friend! If I were her, I would find room in the budget to pay your way for at least some of these expenses that she has decided to put on you. Or I would change some of the plans to make them more affordable. And, if you two aren't close enough to have an honest conversation about…

If she wants you there in part to help her navigate the day, she should pay your way, or part of your way. We did that for out-of-towners (we had a very small wedding and live in our mutual hometown so most people were local) and it felt really good to have them there and know that they weren't spending their savings…

I think that invitations to really really fancy weddings are still kind of boring. I went to one (I am talking super wealthy people who probably spent about $400k on the wedding, and that number is not a typo) and their invitation was very high quality but also very, very simple. I think that's how it used to be, as…

I know someone who did that. When they started planning they were totally upfront about the fact that they did it to save money, because costs were lower in their middle of nowhere country destination than in our very expensive city, and they literally said that they wanted to invite everyone they ever knew. They…

I don't know, that reasoning still sounds kind of assholish to me. Why not just not invite those people who you don't want there? Especially considering most people consider a gift an obligation upon receiving a wedding invitation, whether they go or not? (I hate the idea of an obligatory gift— isn't that an oxymoron—…

That's what we did— nice dinner at our favorite restaurant, loads of amazing food, open bar, no florist, no band, no dance floor. It was so funny to get complimented on the music that was playing— it was just whatever music the restaurant played on a normal night. It was lots of fun, local and low-key for almost all…

It's hard to find people who are willing to come out to Queens! I've decided the better tactic is to make friends with people in the neighborhood, but that has been hard too, so far. :(