(I miraculously managed to find this image without being assaulted by pictures of constricted testicles)

This is the worst breakup I've ever had the misfortune of having to witness.

Have you ever heard of a waterslide getting stuck?

Agreed. If there's anything good that comes out of this story, it's that at least I learned that a brave and great and wonderful girl, Jada, exists in this godforsaken cesspool called earth.

fucking california

"I can't go to work and be a dick to everyone" yet somehow I get the idea that you're always a dick to everyone.

They'll never find the trunks, they are simply part of you now.

and it ends in a puddle of dookie water?

GoPro has made it so i don't have to spend money to do these things, just watch others take the risk! Thanks GoPro!

You sound mad. Has your Facebook feed seemed particularly angry lately?

Ferrari Enzo Ferrari Enzo Ferrari Enzo Ferrari Enzo Ferrari Enzo Ferrari Enzo Ferrari Enzo Ferrari Enzo Ferrari Enzo Ferrari Enzo Ferrari Enzo Ferrari Enzo Ferrari Enzo Ferrari Enzo Ferrari

Not necessarily too soon, just not particularly amusing.

My exact thought, I was questioning why they would have a piece of cardboard covering half the image.

Cardboard on a dark blue shiny floor with cocaine on top.

Yeah, I see that now! Ha.

you did so well until you tried to make this about race, which it clearly is not... So with this? "...and calling it out as racism is itself racist, right?" - well you're creating racism in a situation where it wasn't, not calling it out. So yes, what you did was actually racist.

Is that a lot? That seems like a lot.

That pizza looks super gross.

Until the Muslim in Chief is succesfully IMPEACHED and THROWN IN JAIL for his HIGH CRIMES and MISDERMEANERS against FREEDOM LOVING AMERUCICANS EVERYWHERE!

So, wait. How long should I freeze the numbers?