My family and I play that game... but not until we pass out. wtf?

Yeah, my 2004-2007 high school yearbooks each had a two-page spread on the school's babies, and I don't remember any uproar then... I do remember that one mother named her baby girl Princy, but that's another issue.

It's how I responded when my parakeet decided to wake me up two hours early this morning by standing on my face for half an hour. He gave up eventually, though.

Me too! Plus, we were a man short because our closer was "sick." He called in half an hour before his shift started. He'd better show up to his next shift with a hospital bill stapled to his forehead.

I wish I had a video of my brother's tortoise eating dandelions. She always ends up with pollen all over her face, usually with a petal sticking out of the corner of her mouth. She's adorable.

"I don't care for G.O.B."

My mother's uncle is a pathological liar. For starters, he's adapted this cowboy persona—including a southern accent—but he's from Anaheim. His last name is a very common and obvious trade name, but he once claimed that we were descended from a long line of noble Von [Tradename]s.

Also, it's fun.

I have a friend who gave his baby born earlier this year the middle name Oakenshield. His first and last name are quaintly normal in comparison.

Fyi, that link isn't working for me.

Yeah, some of these stories are funny, but a lot of them are kind of horrible. I can't even do pranks, let alone take revenge.

I work the counter at a burger place, and one time I got a customer with an obvious swastika on his neck. It's against company policy to refuse service to someone unless they're actively threatening me. I asked. FTS.

"He's straightness personified, especially the way he wrestles that other guy in The Transporter in a big pool of oil, with his shirt off."

I mean, yeah, there is a tiny amount of poison in apple seeds, but it's a very very tiny amount. It was my lab's right and privilege to eat my apple cores. My other dog used to pick them from the trees in my back yard. I think it's probably not a problem. That said, I probably wouldn't give my parakeets apple…

Yeah, my dog stole a whole chocolate torte at least once. My understanding is that it's like peanuts with humans: some will be killed by it, but not all or even most.

Came here just to say that border terriers are adorable. Also, thank you for posting this list. I would add coffee, because people are idiots.

Booo. Well, at least he's nice to his fans, based on my one time of meeting him at Comic-Con.

This is a repost, but I'm glad you did it, since it was an excuse to watch this video again.

Ooh, lucky! I mean, I suppose all those hotel rooms and what have you could be on Montmartre, but that seems unlikely.

It drives me crazy when things "set in Paris" show the Eiffel Tower through the window, because usually it means that they could only be in a helicopter flying over the city.