Hey Dave, can I trouble you for a follow? It’s so dull being grey.

Here’s my ms paint 2-minute artistic representation.

Carpet bomb the memes.

So, would you like there to be an army of ungreyed boring, uninsightful commenters who’s sole contribution was longevity?

Once again, the Clash were wrong. 

Mike Minor has always been childish.

Djokovic was on a roaster, he withdrew due to injury

You know, there’s a rule in sports, “Don’t do anything great if you can’t handle the congratulations.”

That’s OK. It happens to a lot of bull semen factories. 

So “Moo-kake” is all good then?

Poor thing, unprepared with talking points, and everyone forgot to tell her she’s a token. Ms. Heng, your 15th minute is now up. Please vacate the stage. You have fifteen seconds to comply or reach minimum safe distance.

What kills me is that this is a decision someone consciously made. Some actual human being is that stupid.

Of course she is. All coastal elites work double shifts bar tending, whereas Real Americans live in a gold tower with their name on it.

Dearest Mother,

Yeah okay, sure. Next thing you’re going to tell me that computer hacking doesn’t consist of manipulating the graphics of a bunch of overlapping cubes.

This was my recent I-suppose-the-internet-really-is-worth-it revelation:

I'm waiting for you to stop yelling

“I’m just doing my job.” Now, where have we heard that before?

Facts don’t care about your feelings. As far as he’s concerned, they care a whole hell of a lot about his feelings.

My guess is he has drank 18 beers a day for so many days that he thinks there are 5 days in a week.