That much cheese would stop you up more than an actual hat!

As long as it’s just the one scoop, Trump is ok with it.

Today the Great Salt Lake is even saltier.

As usual, The New Yorker gets it right:

C’mon how can they NOT make fun of Trumplethinskin’s Time cover?

M: Andrew. Its Bob. You got a second?

Nah. Though I really appreciate your anecdotal evidence, Chris Paul has been one of the best players in the league for like 10 years. He is aging and declining now, so your Rockets prediction may end up being correct anyway, but I would put a lot more blame on Doc than CP.

MARTHA IS BEAUTIFUL FIGHT ME

My late grandmother’s dog is somehow still kicking and looks pitiful. He’s got an untreatable skin condition and is just old as sin. He was dumped at my parents house a good 15 years ago. Has the funniest looking underbite but my grandmother loved that dog more than anything.

These owners must come from pretty open-minded, laid-back communities. My neighbors all complained and ultimately had me arrested when I attempted to enter my ugly dog.

I’m sad that this didn’t happen. This would have been the first Big 3 to have 6 first names, thus making it the most powerful of all Big 3s. Not sure what response the Warriors could have even had to that. Maybe find a way to trade for Kawhi or Carmelo.

He’s a narcissist. Nothing that happens to him is his fault, and everything that causes him problems is the worst thing ever, because he is the only person on the plant that matters.

HAHAHA OH GOD PLEASE LET’S HAVE A WORLD LEADERS ROAST OF TRUMP AFTER HE GETS IMPEACHED. Macron, Merkel, Turnbull, Trudeau, hell let’s invite everyone. It’ll be like the Olympics, only only one night and there’s only one event: roasting the shit out of a disgraceful asshole.

Well I’ll give you points for consistency, anytime someone expresses hope that there’s a path to Trump’s removal, you’re there to poo-poo it and anoint yourself as the voice of reason.

AHHHHH GET IT AWAY FROM ME GET IT AWAY FROM ME

1. Fuck the snowflakes.