Here's my boy - got him DNA tested, and he didn't turn up as any kind of dog out of the 250+ breeds in their database, so he may not actually be a dog. But he looks just like yours!

Holy crap that looks like one of my dogs! (Very handsome.) Mine is more tan than orange, and has floppy-down instead of sticky-up ears, but otherwise they could be dogglegangers.

People are literally apes. Literally. In the definition of apes. Higher primates. Chimps, gorillas, bonobos, humans.

Everyone on the intranet is so nice and positive about my work! It's weird, right?

No one has been able to guess the color of my sex based on my writing, probably because I'm such a good writer. (If you're curious, it fluctuates among shades of pink and purple.)

So I guess the real problem is that there are no news anchors in W. Africa?

I just clicked over from a comment thread on how great the boob-twerk lady's stone-faced, stoic expression was in her Mozart performance. This blows that out of the water. If he were still alive, Grant Wood would repaint American Gothic using Maymo and Penny! I love them.

Was about to post suggesting that everyone try some sporcle blank-map regional geography quizzes. They are addictive and certainly make you aware of what parts of the world you don't know. My wife and I do them together every so often, and we are especially weak on our African countries.

I remember in 6th grade that there were frequent contests - in class - between me and the other most nerdy student over things like geography, naming the presidents in order, etc. She and I would be having a pretty good time, and the teacher would be giggling and clapping his hands (not really, but in hindsight, its…

Pandemic 2

Maybe the people of Maine will put you on permanent retainer, as long as you promise never to go there.

She's probably right. Based on what Voldemort's head looks like, I'm sure his penis is extra creepy looking.

Also, he may be a more ergonomic pooper than I am, but at least I know to take my pants down! Or maybe he's so enlightened that he refuses to waste water, and is planning to shake the turds down his pant-leg into a compost bin.

I prefer to lie down to pee. And for those who are wondering, I lie on my side. It sounds crazy, but after a lot of experimentation I have concluded that it really is optimal. I spent a long time peeing face-down, but didn't really like how it pooled underneath my stomach. Then i tried peeing while lying on my…

It's because he has so many more family values than the rest of us.

"Squatting Stools" would be a much better name than "Squatty Potty."

One of my dogs has a very, very fluffy bottom, and he is a miraculously immaculate pooper. His trick, which I've tried to emulate on the toilet, is to waddle forward with tiny steps of his back legs. It helps the poop out without contaminating his fur, with the added benefit that I have to track down a little trail…

I had wedding night sex once, about four years ago, but I haven't had it since.

A couple years ago the R&R marathon set up a station of several portable toilets in an empty lot that belongs to a friend of mine, without asking permission. Then they were shitty (sorry) about moving them when my friends requested them to. I don't recall the details but basically they knew that they could squat…

Just speaking hypothetically, but one way would be if the two largest race series in the US, taken together, comprised less than 3% of the total road races.