Couldn't you have just written, "It was a lie."

You're probably thinking of "bald-faced hornet."

Back when I used to live there, the City Paper ran an article about DC's single known endemic species (i.e. found within the city and nowhere else): the "Hay's Spring Amphipod." Maybe I'm biased, as someone who studies arthropods for a living, but I'd root like crazy for the Washington Amphipods!

This...but also...that. I think you are correct, it is logical that someone who is being paid a lot of money by a major corporation should go ahead and suck it up and follow the rules. On the other hand, it is a stupid, intrusive and infantilizing rule, and I bet most red-blooded Deadspin readers have been a wingman…

My wife usually says hers is crying, and tears are mostly water, so the joke's on you!

I'd say that what they do is more akin to what snakes do when they are in water...which I would call "swimming."

I'm with you!

She likes to collect home run balls. She spent a lot of time floating upside down in McCovey Cove, too.

I wasn't watching, did he cream it clear out of the stadium?

Like beautiful song, played on ugliest guitar.

THANK you! I've been saying for years that Morgana would have been the best woman ever to take the baseball field, if only her breasts hadn't been so big.

I think you make the most interesting point here - this keeps players from attending the combine. It seems like Goodell is trying to protect teams from their own inability to detect if somebody is going to be a bad person/player/representative of the NFL.

Any added points for Brooks, because he made his throw in the World Series?

I was thinking the same thing...if he's not a cow, then he could still be either a steer OR a queer. His statement really didn't clarify anything.

All he was trying to say was that he waits in line a lot when he's in Texas. Admittedly, that's a bit of a spelling conundrum...maybe he should have hyphenated? [Edit: just had to look it up myself, and it's a bigger spelling conundrum than i realized! Queuers? Queue-ers?]

Fair enough, that does cast it in a different light.

You may be the person to finally answer this for me:

This. Saying a man is feminine or unmanly is not the same as saying they are gay. Not sure if Jenkins was splitting that particular hair or not, but without more evidence than the above block quote, I'm inclined to regard it as basically "you hit like a girl," not "you take penises inside you like a girl."

Yes he does, Michael. Yes he does.

There's not much Steve Gleason can do to surprise me any more, the man is amazing. I wouldn't be surprised if he put his pants on with his eyeballs.