They aren't his kids, it's his D&D club. Tim was scheduled to DM for them tonight, and damned if they are going to reschedule for some stupid sportsball game.

Try telling that to Tim Duncan's wizard tattoo.

My good friend once met and alienated Wilt Chamberlain at a bar he owned in Florida ("Wilt's Place" I think), during spring break of '94 or '95. His buddies were egging him on and so my friend got up to talk to Wilt. He walked up and stammered, "Hey, you're Wilt Chamberlain!"

Well, you've got my attention, but I'm having trouble taking your comment seriously. Nope, it definitely needs to be Comic Sans.

That's it! Exactly! Now if I could just figure out how to make my comments appear in Comic Sans...

If you are receiving gentle criticism, it is redundant to say "for me, personally".

For some reason, the importance of your comment just isn't really reaching me. If only there were some way to make it more eye-catching and impactful...

If you ever do find yourself drinking with him, you probably will buy the beers!

That wouldn't be bad. What about this: I think the person who committed the initial "foul" should get one free shot at the flopper at midcourt immediately prior to the tip of the next game.

My good friend, in his first week as IT guy for a mid-sized architecture firm, walked into the middle of a breakroom dispute about the necessity of washing your hands after you urinate. One of his new co-workers asked him, "Hey, New Guy, how about you? When you piss, do you get it on your hands?"

All over a scallop's facebook page: shellfish selfies.

How to make money like Frank Zappa: sell floss.

Heaven forbid that posting video of yourself doing something charitable becomes the new fad. It would be like planking all over again...only it would benefit someone!

I'm worried that kids are going to start imitating his crass shenanigans.

Maybe he thinks this video will count as a receipt for his next tax return.

My living room before today: shelfless.

This! Pugs have curly piggy-tails, and their butts are never not showing. I have a chow, whose tail is curled over his back when he's happy (almost always), but he has long enough hair around his anus that I've never even seen it. I trust that it exists, because he squats down and poop appears. In general, my chow…

Ok, so "unprecedented" may be an overstatement on my part. On the other hand, if you can equate what Puig is doing with the list of achievements you just gave, I still consider that to be really impressive. It's a short list. The fact that the Braves are leading their division in June is also impressive, but it is a…

I think he's trying to say that it's easy to get off to a historically unprecedented hot start to your career in your FIRST four games. Anyone can get off to one of the best starts ever at the BEGINNING of their career. It becomes truly impressive when you can have a hot start to your career in game 100, in year 2,…

If your teammate turns his back on you, he's an enemy.