2022 Spoooon: “The big screen death of Superman will have zero emotional impact on you”

Warner sticking to their guns in a floundering superhero movie? Where is my fainting couch?

I’m shocked that a multi-billion dollar company can do for an epic showdown is shoot in a rock quarry during Doctor Who’s off week.

At what point do we proclaim that having Matt Smith in your movie is a Death Curse?

I dont get the love for these things. I’ve tried my friends several times, following the directions to THE letter, and all I’ve come away with is charcoal food and disappointment.

I’m gonna go out on a limb here - there are no bad* Friday the 13th movies (not counting the remake - just the mainstream canon, thank you). Yes there are some that are not as good as the others, but even the weaker entries are still pretty damn entertaining. Especially when you compare to something like Halloween…

Dont forget that the last two episodes of the Obi-Wan series will sideline the main plot for two guest shots of Mando.

Jesus, is this a TV show or a playstation game? The CGI looks positively 2004!

He’s a good writer when he has a strong editor riding herd boss on him. The Who he did under RTD was outstanding stuff. The episodes he wrote for 11 and 12 on his own? They were fine enough, occasional moments of greatness, but after a while he wound up loving the smell of his own farts. It never crossed into full on C…

Just like the first one, this thing will make a fuckton of cash before silently slipping under the waves six months later without any cultural or societal impact whatsoever.

As we have seen time and time again throughout earth history, the technologically superior force dominates the inferior natives. So how Avatar 2's plot isn’t “A second team of Rich White Men show up with a fleet and orbital bombard the natives into extinction before taking their precious metal unopposed”?

And that’ll be when I stop going to Burger King (which, if we’re being honest, isn’t exactly a regular occurrence anyway) because fake meat tastes like shit.

New Obi-Wan Kenobi trailer? Sweet

True, but if your response to “I’m allergic to corn, is there any of that in this?” is “Can’t tell you! It’s an ancient Chinese secret”, then you are an asshole.

A handful of years ago, I had a friend (who takes the bong when I offer, but doesn’t otherwise partake) over for an evening of consumables and kung fu movies. I handed him a bottle with about 40mg of THC and said “Be very careful, this much will destroy you. Go slow”

I swear to fuck, I was DIEING at Gilbert reading the Provisional Agreement to the UK exiting the EU before, as you so often do in these situations, switching to reading Bigfoot Porn.

Ah yes, the Bechdel Test. The metric that tells us that Das Boot and The Great Escape are misogynistic garbage that should be shunned at all costs and that Spicy Pizza Shop Girls is the pinnacle of female empowerment cinema.

I think it’s mostly just that most people still have no idea who Ezra Miller is

Do your parents know that you are using their computer?

Wild Wild West.