"A pink baseball-type bat..."

Sadly, neither of these devices use AAA's for power, as that would have marked the first palindromic battery in baseball history.

Don't worry because according to the email now that we've spotted them the 146 goals we should receive like 50,000 goals in the next couple of matches

Spectators at the matches were disgusted, describing them as "the most exciting soccer we've ever seen".

Redick: "Don't worry, girl. At this stage in development, it doesn't even look human."

I don't see why this is such a big deal. Robert Kraft has one too. He plays back-up QB or tight end or something,

You guys are totally biased. If Bryce Harper tried this shit, you would've just made fun of him for not catching the ball.

That is a picture of me and coach Tomlin outside of a great little neighborhood establishment...not a dive... I am a huge fan that had the pleasure of meeting him.. While visiting my hometown...what a treat...Go Steelers!!!

Meanwhile, officials for the Sheboygan Whimsy were shocked at their star forward's ruthless, deceptive negotiation tactics.

No need to click to expand, eh?

If the goal is to slow the race to the bottom, then they couldn't have picked a better savior than Mr. Whitlock.

Oh come on. That thing can't weigh more than 25 pounds. How is it big enough to use that pen?

Idiot. You don't have to sign the baby. It's fucking stupid, not deaf.

Could have led to some nasty injuri

Eskimo: [kills seal with spear]

What we've learned today:

That's weird. I was under the impression all this time that Nader was a consumer advocate.

Doctor: I have terrible news, Mr. and Mrs. Johnson. Tina is very, very ill, with a terrible case of Rhapidosponeliosis.

Wow, Chris Brown is gonna be hella disappointed when he finds out beating cancer isn't what he thinks it is.

A dispute this stupid is rarely black and white, which is why you'll usually only find it in the grays.