No "chutzpah?" What is this, Hobby Lobby?

"Way too much pie" isn't a thing.

2 1/2 STARS

I'll be in my bunk.

If your bed goes commando it is a whore. 12 Hail Marys.

The list did cover arson.

Masturbating after recently dicing a fresh jalapeño, which apparently some people have actually done.

In my house it's exactly like that but I tell LoniManderson that true love is just 300 bottles of Vodka away. He keeps rambling on about how if that's true then I must have reached some ecstatic, joyous higher plane of Nirvana-like love, but I don't really understand ever what he is talking about because I'm usually…

"You can’t get a sandwich with love from the deli."

Has no one noticed the queen's corgis getting plumper?

I hope she doesn't feel too badly about it. I hope she realizes that a lot of Americans are seriously lacking education about very basic biological functions and the vast majority of her detractors are talking out of their asses. I was lucky enough to get comprehensive sex ed, but had to take an actual parenting class…

I'm surprised pregnant women aren't forced to be chained to beds for nine mouths to ensure that the baby is 100% safe because women are just baby incubators and we have to protect the unborn precious little angels. *massive eye roll* What is this shit, the Giver?

I don't quite understand the snarky attitude in this post; these are serious topics. My wife was extremely ill this summer and spent six weeks flat on her back. By the end she couldn't walk or transfer from her bed to a chair, due to muscle inactivity. She's been on physical rehab for several weeks now, and can use a…

I used to be a technician on some sleep research studies similar to this.

Not sure what makes the researchers "creepy". Also, "no fatties" is you mocking overweight individuals; not NASA doing so; if there are no obese or overweight astronauts, allowing those individuals to participate in this study is not comparing apples to apples, you are possibly throwing additional health complications…

Got the angle backwards. The plan is to incline the subjects at six degrees with their heads LOWER than their feet. This will cause fluids to collect in their heads, to help simulate one of the odder effects of life in the microgravity of orbit.

I'm not sure why these articles are written in this way, this sounds like a legit research exercise and not "creepy". Also "no fatties"? There's a pretty good reason you need to pass an air force physical to be able to qualify the stress of the trip. Terrible wording all round, unless you were going for funny, in…

Today I had ice cream after lunch. I'm like a white lady Malcolm X— aggressively leading a deeply necessary subversive movement to eat ice cream when you want. Literally just like Malcolm X. It only takes one person, y'all. God, I'm so fucking heroic.

Everyone always claims to be 9 inches, but I suspect sneaky measuring techniques.

Eh. I think once you give it away, it is that person's to sell or regift as they want. So whateva whateva.