Ah, New England. Where they drink their 40’s faster than they run them.

What’s the difference between Tom Brady and the babies that Tom Brady killed with his lies?

Dammit, RMJ, you were so close. It should have been Vini Baker, Vidi Baker, Vinti Baker though.

Customer: Hi, I’d like a venti soy latte with three shots of espresso.

Ancient BBWAA Member: [takes out calendar book]

And I thought one film was a stretch. How the fuck are they going to mine two stories from only 6,000 years of source material?

Doctor 1: Ok team, we know this is bad, but Tim’s been through a lot. We’re going to have to sugarcoat this for him.

I think the move makes perfect sense. Neither has any rings.

John Wall: [pops champagne]

I’m just going to go out on a limb and guess this isn’t your first time being upstaged by a portly bicycle jersey-wearing Norwegian.

Should Donovan McNabb have been driving while under the influence of an alcoholic substance? What do you think?

Uh, Chris, these issues are so two weeks ago. The NFLPA has Ballers now.

Why does Arsenal even need this guy? They’ve won 100 trophies so far under Wenger.

A tragic reminder of a horrible day for all Bostonians, and also the announcement of a big court decision.

I tried pouring out some of my 40 for these guys, but Maurice Clarett caught it in his mouth before it hit the ground.

That is not a good collection of words there.

How will you haze Bill Simmons once he starts in October?

And here I thought Wrigley was the Friendly Confines.

I was in the Netherlands this past summer, and I can say without a doubt that I had the best beer of my whole trip at the Jopen Brewery in Haarlem, about 15 minutes outside of Amsterdam. The brewery is in an old remodeled church, and it's a pretty awesome atmosphere. They had a sign on the wall announcing that their…

Accomplice: Ok Aaron, in and out, no evidence. We hit the target, and leave.