Given that Greg Oden probably won't be in the league in 2017, it's unfortunate they didn't think to include a grandfather clause.

Well sure that guy got absolutely leveled, but for Saban, the real kicker here is that guy.

I'm gonna beat writer you one of these days

Authorities knew it had to be plagiarism when the beat writer submitted an article written in full sentences.

This is a serious charge indeed. Have you seen how fat Jerome Bettis is these days?

The sun'll come out...tomorrow

I dreamed a dream in times gone by

The pairing makes sense from the Browns perspective. They're hoping Gordon turns into the next Mr. Hands.

Schlub: With Coors Light, you can win the chance to go to the Super Bowl, just by enjoying a refreshing cold one. Isn't that right, Coach Belichick?

This is great. +1

If you think this is bad, just wait until having the first pick in the draft could actually get you a valuable player.

The Colts responded to the PED suspension by replacing their safety illusion.

It's a goddamn miracle that these lame golfers can finally walk and all you can do is criticize their dance moves, Billy?

Squirrel: [bats eyelashes]

Look, all I know for sure is that only one of Winston, Carroll, or the licensed attorneys is being unprofessional.

So much for separation of church and state smdh.

I think you're overstating it just a tad in the headline, Greg.

Shead: Elizabeth, I've loved you from the moment I first laid eyes on you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. This team has meant so much to me, to us, so I wanted to ask you the question here. Will you...will you let me be your 12th man?

Procter? But I just met her and tossed her on a bed of loose assault rifles!

I hate these poser Bucs fans, hopping on the bandwagon just because there's a new coach, with their grammar and apostrophes and shit.