Of course it's a hacky, cliched, derivative, unfunny, probably stolen "joke." It's from BC.

It's ridiculous how easy it is for people to get away with claiming domestic violence these days. I doubt there's a shred of truth to the whole thing.

"I most definitely discipline my daughter. Why, just the other day, she spilled her Gerber, and so I said to her, 'Your mom was actually Kim.'"

Reporter: And you saw heard he did this?

You'd think with head trauma such a serious issue, they wouldn't let the players dress themselves like you did up there in Week 1, right Geoff?

No way! I heard Brian Urlacher had to leave Fox Sports because his regular breathing sounded like a dying rhinoceros when caught by his jacket mic.

Oh really? I heard Brian Urlacher had to leave Fox Sports because he required that his barber be on the set with him to make sure his crew cut was precisely .2 cm at all times.

I heard Brian Urlacher had to leave Fox Sports because he kept stealing Katie Nolan's makeup kit to feed his eye black addiction.

"He's back with the Vikings because — as is completely natural and part of life and you would do the same if you were us and can we really be blamed for international financial collapse and whoa buddy next you try being the face of a city and hey maybe our shit's not sexy but goddammit it's functional — everyone gets…

I feel terrible for the Redskins, they just can't catch a break. Though maybe it'll be easier now that RG III isn't throwing them.

How

It was an easy choice to go with the sport with the most options outside the NCAA. Davis would never have been eligible, given that he's already a professional fork.

Keith Olbermann Waxes Devastatingly on Doug Exeter's Joke Stealing

Keith Olbermann Destroys the NFL So Thoroughly That It Begins Using Kinja.

I mark my Titleist with a can opener, an Avicii Live in Atlanta 2012 ticket stub, a 3 year old unwrapped condom, and enough molly to even get Dustin Johnson high.

Goodell's convinced that he's only a little bit at fault. Remember, ignorance is 9/10 of the law.

AP sources are also reporting that the NFL has contracted Mercedes Benz to construct the largest, highest off the ground bus in history.

I OWNED DOUBLE JEOPARDY

This entire article is misguided nonsense, Shitehawk.

It might be the closest Chris gets now to playing with a Jennings.