It sounds despicable, I know, but the Rams only just repealed their "don't drop the soap" rule.

This motherfucker

You can tell this is photoshopped because of how ridiculous the premise is.

In fact, Barry, I'd put serious money on the fact that Theismann's opinions aren't his own. He knows better than to go out on a limb like that.

I don't always accept bribes from FIFA Delegates, but when I do I set a standard rate of 3.25 million USD payable only by wire transfer using an encrypted satellite feed contained in the briefcase held by my assistance for only such necessary occasions, and a variable plan with interest in quarterly installments if…

I hate to be a Debbie Downer, but I really feel like this confirms all our worst fears. Something incredibly bad must have happened to make a cornerback miss a chance to play against Eli Manning.

Has anyone ever asked if the Washington Redskins organization is named after Roe v. Wade?

I've gotta say, I've lost a ton of respect for Timmy. He claims to represent his country, but taking a year off like this is just about the most un-American thing you can do.

NFL Committee: Ok, Coldplay. What's your set list looking like?

What an absolute idiot. Byers should have waited until the holiday season to go bow hunting at a Lexus.

Well that certainly justifies a lot of things if you think about it.

Now how the hell are any of the real soccer players — men — gonna play ball?

The good news is that there's no possible way that Sarafin could be a distraction to the team as long as their coach is Todd Graham.

What a horrific situation, putting people's lives in danger like that. I blame the Brazilian organizers 100%. Can't believe they hired Spanish guards.

For years, scientists struggled to really prove, mathematically, why dividing something by 0 would make it undefined. Thank you Emory, you have done what was previously thought to be undoable.

You can tell he's a true Lions fan, though, because he was literally primed for disappointment.

What insensitive bastards. Can't believe they played the Pitbull World Cup song over the speakers.

Portugal manager Paulo Bento wanted to enforce a sex ban for his squad, but, even in construction-challenged and budget-conscious Brazil, every hotel room comes with a mirror.

More like the fifth state, imo

This tactic is only ridiculous because the article in question consisted of three rainbows written in cheese doodle dust on a trash can lid.