Well, if Jackson can get fired from his job after consecutive playoff seasons in the absolutely loaded Western Conference, then I'm going to comment on Deadspin.

This is some great hustle by the local authorities, following up on all possible leads like this. And in such a timely manner. Really encourages crab legs that they can be safe out in public.

At current (2013) market value, though, Rovell still makes approximately $47.3k per stitch received.

Players: [in unison] Rock, paper, scissors...

It's certainly a rude introduction to the professional world for Henderson. In college, that flunking would have been a B-.

Welker must have taken some advice from Richard Sherman to win that much money. There's no one better at picking ponies.

Dammit, Kyle, what the hell. Totally uncalled for, and not even remotely funny. Would it kill you to put a NSFW tag at the top?

Phew. I was worried people wouldn't get what I was trying to say.

The Bruins suggested that their racist fans should look in the mirror before spewing this garbage on Twitter. What kind of man — or woman — feels the need to unleash such racially-charged invective over the Internet, they asked.

"It doesn't show you when he goes back to the bench and the coach reams him out and the guy instead of pouting he straightens his shoulders up and says to his teammates let's go"

"Why...why are you crying Mo? You're a terrific bodyguard! Come on, chin up! You've been such a great help all these years, and a great friend to my family. I know I may not always act like it, but you've had a really positive impact on my life. Without you by my side, I don't know what kind of mess I'd be in. So…

I think this is some great brand synergy. When I play Pacman, I can never get past the first level.

+1

Don't listen to these haters, Floyd. How many other boxers can say their only career loss was to diabetes?

Sorry Sir Alex, but if you liked it you should have put a ring on it.

Don't you think Sterling's been through enough? Cut him some slack, the guy had to buy a new girlfriend recently.

I was wondering why we hadn't had an Arsenal post in a while, Greg.

It's really not that bad compared to his girlfriend's, which just says "Earl Ray" on the back.

Well shit, you make an interesting point...thanks.

"What...what's happening? I can tell a lie? OH SWEET JESUS! Brenda, your baby's cute. Chad, I'm definitely returning your hedge clippers. And Susan, that sex was great. See you pieces of shit in another life, I QUIT. Sir Mix-A-Lot, OUT."