+1

To be fair, many of Nieves' teammates met their wives and girlfriends on tinder. Hell, Jimmy Rollins met his wife when he tied her to a bunch of dry sticks that were hit by lightning, and financed his children's educations by the royalties earned by his patent on fire.

Get your own schtick, pal.

To commemorate the opening of Wrigley, the Cubs had a special piñata made. The best part? You can still see it! They haven't been able to dispose of it yet.

You must be new here.

To pay homage to this cigar-smoking, Spanish-speaking, fire hydrant-resembling legend, MLB brought out some of its stars.

How can you even write about sports in a mall, when so many innocent shoppers are forced to wait outside a changing room for hours even though they're going to say everything looks good on you honey, anyway?

Ghost: [knocks down player]

Who was booing? I heard "YOOOOOOOOUUUUUU're great."

Only those circle-jerkers make jokes now. On the new Deadspin, you take everything at face value.

I was stating facts, not jokes.

Some people may call them snitches, but I think the girls were completely justified in running straight to the authorities.

+1

This could set a really dangerous precedent in the future when New York is negotiating with the 8th and 9th area MLS teams.

A Marathon Runner Fell Near the Finish Line And Well, You're Probably Right When You Guess What Comes Next

This story is terrifying, and it really makes you question how effective team doctors actually are on the sidelines.

No, that's a great point too. The salary cap definitely encourages parity. You have your LA's and New York's to be sure, but even they have to construct a full squad in order to be competitive. Probably the most successful franchise in the last 5-7 years has been Real Salt Lake, which is by no means major market. The…

I'm pretty sure Beckham could murder a group of baby dolphins while snorting all of Miami's cocaine, and MLS would still trot him out as a league icon. Hell, I bet Red Bull, Emirates, or AEG privately agitate for no salary cap, too.

That might make sense on an individual level, but most businesses tend to expand before they actually have the money to, and budget it on projected growth. In this case, to continue the analogy, MLS would be opening up a bunch of bank accounts because they have a very specific idea of how they are going to fill them.…

I don't think the dilution of quality issue is really that pressing, to be honest. Sure, in the immediate future the expansion franchises may not be great, though I know NYCFC is going to spend a ton, and Orlando City (who have great local support by the way) has been linked with Kaka. But I think the real benefit is…