MAKE THAT ELEVENS!

Hahahahaha

I was about to come here and talk about it and then scrolled down and saw I would be like the 10th person.

That’s why I’m here!

Rat Kings are fake news, Squirrel Kings are the truth!

I saw this article a day or so ago and I got all excited ready to show my knowledge and be like “when this happens to rats it’s called a rat king.” Then I went in and read the article and saw they called it a squirrel king and got bummed. I was like really they just replaced the noun.

And people said Rat Kings were just a disgusting urban legend.

Squirrel King!

Elon Musk and Grimes?

Same. I totally forgot they were married. it seems like they’re both cool with the split and they’ll continue to be in each other’s lives.

I was both amazed that they lasted that long and sad that they split. Whenever I saw Paulina and Ric together, they seemed so genuinely into each other. Alas, it seems like love can’t last I this modern age, especially if you’re famous.

I’m really sad that Ric Ocasek and Paulina Porizkova split up. They’d been married 30 years. That’s like a thousand Hollywood years.

I had no idea that a) Pete Davidson is only 24 and b) that he was dating Larry David’s daughter. Too bad that they broke up, but I guess she escaped being a potential Cazzie David-Davidson.

No wonder Meghan knows her way around royalty. Her dad is a fucking drama queen.

“Saved by Hulu,” the name of your sex tape.

Are the belly chains still a thing?

Naah. No worries. They’re just in “the zone.” Let he or she who has not appeared robotic whilst working out raise a hydraulic arm;)

That’s Ke$ha.

I’m simultaneously impressed with their strength and slightly nauseated.