Yes. But it will be spelled Knorth from then on.

I have friends who were really not into the cry it out method. Now they have a kindergartener who still sleeps in their bedroom full-time.

Wait, is it bad to be a "cry-it out" er? That shit was hard work, and not for everyone, but sheesh, I had no idea that would keep someone from being friends with me. I'm friends with co-sleepers, and I would never do it, but different strokes for different folks, right?

Help, I am Stuck At 38 Collectibles in the Taylor Swift App Experience

Alamuddin is a way prettier name than Clooney.

I got in the face of a guy who grabbed my ass at my favorite restaurant this weekend. He's nine inches taller than me and I now understand why my partner says it's terrifying when I'm angry. All I did was whip around and say excuse me, and he cowered, as did the guys on either side of him. He fucking cowered. I'm…

I recently broke up with my boyfriend - we were living together and an engagement was imminent but deep down in my gut I knew we weren't right for each other. I am glad we broke up, I only wish I had listened to my instinct and done it sooner. I have no residual sadness or emotion for him or us. What I am unable to…

Protip: do not date one year olds.

This was not my proudest moment, but when I got dumped by a guy who had sworn eternal love just long enough to hook me and then stomp on my heart, I called a florist, had them cut the heads off a dozen long-stemmed roses and deliver the wrapped-with-a-ribbon box of stems to the asshole during a long business meeting…

I once had a huge breakup fight with my boyfriend over hamburger helper. He wanted me to get up and get an additional fork instead of sharing his and for some reason I refused.

His farts sound like a rip off of Bono.

Part of me wants to submit an application to be Jaden Smith's Tweet Editor so I can give him informative daily reports on Title Case and the difference between there/their/they're. But then the rest of me just wants to run over him with a diesel-powered front-end loader and be done with it.

Are you guys actively trying to make it impossible to find Dirt Bag? Someone gave me the tip to look for the bold names — since you can no longer tell from the non-existent tag or the time or the authors — and now you don't even do that consistently. This is infuriating.

It will.

Clowns. My best story involves a lot of clowns.

I mean, I have other stories. Honorable mention goes to the time I had sex on the 5th floor of a hotel's glass-walled staircase in plain view of the street below because we couldn't afford to get a room in said hotel, and the time I swam out to the center of Walden Pond…

"She's so refined ... I think I'll kill myself."

Or Kim could, you know, leave her kid with one of the many nannies she probably has so that she can enjoy her evening without having to stand outside with a fussy child and no one else has to deal with someone's fussy child at any point during the night. The only reason to bring a child to an event like this is to…

I don't care if she is the calmest baby around, it's still not appropriate. I love kids. I think kids can handle a lot. A loud, crowded professional event is not appropriate for a toddler, period. I wouldn't bring my toddler to a concert or a gallery opening, either. Some things are for adults, and that's okay.

Because it's a professional event, a WORKING event for most attendees, loud, and generally not for children? It's rude, disruptive, and they can certainly afford childcare.