Heidi Creamer

Imma stop you right there Isha, but Shrayber's guinea pigs had the best hiding spot of all time.

not so funny anymore, is it.

Two months. I've been waiting on a third one for WEEKS now. Finally got that bread one this week. It was like a gift from above.

#NotAllFerrets, okay?

This isn't a restaurant story, but it was a "WTF?" moment and involved a dumb person and food.

I once had guy order a steak "Pittsburg style, well done". I had no idea how to respond to that. For those that don't know, Pittsburg style means seared on the outside and rare as fuck in the middle.

re: story number 1, from a family friend's wedding

I was once at Peter Luger's (very old-school NYC steakhouse staffed mostly by cranky old men) with a girl who ordered her steak "very well done". It was all I could do not to burst out laughing when the elderly, gruff waiter put her plate in front of her and said, "And this is what was once a very nice piece of meat".

I worked for a regional franchise of a national chain restaurant that was a big proponent of secret shopping. Our location was near several busy business parks and hotels with convention spaces. One of our regular groups was a Mormon youth conference - all very nice, well-dressed, attractive young people, but they…

I just want all service people to know, I really am appreciative of the hard work you do. Especially when my family of 5 ventures out to eat, which we try to keep to a minimum. We have a 5, 4 and 2 yrs old. Who are all very picky and messy eaters, often leaving the table and surrounding area strewned with food and…

So, this is favorite feature of the week (esp since, no offense, Midweek Madness has slid downhill) but it terrifies me since I just started my first waitress job in 20 years. When I told my bro, he said while laughing, "Uh... aren't you a little... surly for that?" I don't know how to deal with this level of stupid!!

Why Taco Bell doesn't sell barracuda kessadealias is beyond me...

When I was in Europe, selling monogrammed thermoses, THEY would cook my steaks for me until it was tender, no matter how long it took. Americans are so lazy sometimes.

I politely let him know that I could have asked the kitchen to skip the red if he had asked me before the meal was prepared but that I was unable to accommodate him after he had started eating.

if a customer wants you to grill a steak until it gets tender, you grill it until it gets tender

Blanc is an enormous dickhead, even by the standards of the pickup artist field, a field that's crowded with dickheads, a field that is really more dick than field.