Oh Tracy, what would we do without you posting controversial stuff on the weekends to keep us entertained? You’re a Jezebel treasure.
(I predict that this time it won’t be the regular Jezzies who get offended, but we will get an influx of possible MRAs and #notallmen’ers at some point, not to mention mansplainers.)

Just yesterday, I was at the corner store buying my standard migraine hangover cure: giant ass Coke Zero and some salt-and-vinegar potato chips. I had messed up hair, sunglasses deployed, ratty-ass clothes, and Kid Electron in tow, because it’s just not a migraine hangover without a three-year-old asking for Skittles…

The picture of Old Conservative White Dude summer camp you painted here is going to entertain me all day.

Not falling for it. Too much damage has been done for me to forgive and forget.

As a representative of the "American Heartland" woman, in my forties, I hate to break it to M. Hucks, but we've been smoking, swearing, fucking, and drinking in the flyover states for quite a while now. Wearing pants, voting, showing our ankles, the whole shebang. It's like we think we're people or something.

oh god what if the kid got away with like

First and most importantly, as a former pizza delivery person fuck those cheap entitled assholes.

I once severed my tongue (did you know they could reattach those?) in a library, on the first day after their renovations (I ended up volunteering there 15 years later, it was apparently legend.) I tripped and bit it clear off.

Every time I hear about Chris Pratt, I'm all like:

This is hilarious and an excellent way of making the point but, even though I know you're kidding, I want to point out that there's no "too big for condoms" but there absolutely is "may be too big for a regular condom to operate at peak effectiveness."

*sits back and patiently waits for the male posters to jump in and start screeching that we just don't get it, condoms hurt, ok? Like, you can't feel anything ever! And it's too tight! ETC ETC*

Look who has the self control to stop at one sleeve. Show off.

I love how the nutrition facts suggests something like 2 Thin Mints as one serving. Don't they mean one sleeve of cookies 'cuz that's how I roll?