I have a lot of good, reliable friends who have not had a serious relationship. I would see a person who was single for 27 years and then wanted to have a relationship with me to be a giant green flag.

I hate stylish kids. I spent the first 12 years of my life in sweatpants and you should too.

I wish more of these had timers

I wish more of these had timers

Men and Women have to maintain young looks, or they will be replaced.

I need a good coffee maker with a timer. I do not have the ability to ‘make’ coffee in the morning.

I need a good coffee maker with a timer. I do not have the ability to ‘make’ coffee in the morning.

That is what I thought as well....

You eat your tomato tempura. I’ll stick to potatoes.

Dear boys & men alike,
Don’t stand behind a woman & talk when she is at the sink trying to get ready.
Its literally the worst.

Well, that’s enough Internet for me today.

I hate to say this

Walt never wanted alcohol to be sold to the average guests in his parks.

Not only did she make up a story about getting raped and kidnappe, she made up a racist story about getting raped and kidnapped:(

“Tried its hardest to keep out of the All-Star game” is a bit hyperbolic, no?

#WeAreAllUnnamedPlayer

Actually, they’ve been proven to have no statistical effect on people quitting smoking.

Your views on punctuation fascinate me more than your views on morality.

I’m very surpised that you are a lonely guy...

I’ve never done it, but have heard guys try to defend it. The logic goes something like this: I would love it if a hot girl sent me naked photos, therefore she should love it. So, basically they are deeply stupid.

It’s not like I can yell at him.

I would guess they often do :(