There’s no such thing as a shitty dog. You show me a shitty dog, and I’ll show you a much shittier person who doesn’t give a fuck about the dog.

Nonsense.

Perhaps you should take a stats class.

I’d love to see a movie where a middle-aged humanities professor tells the hot young student to fuck off and stop being vapid. Get your grades up, woman, and leave me alone.

Does she sport ‘stepdaughter chic’ like most of his leading ladies?

but what kind of fucked up sick person would tell a 5-year old they were showing too much skin?

You know what Tinder is for, right?...

Everyone knows she’ll be named Princess Elsa Katnyss Ava McKaydyn Stark

That makes sense, considering ESPN is a branch of the Department of Health

You mean the bullshit movement, right?

Shocked it took this long for an Interwebro to make this about “fake rape.”

Don’t dress like a chud, and bring a light scarf if you’re a lady. Problem solved.

Is there a Pulitzer for victim-blaming?

So many Jimmys rustled.

You just said there was no point, then highlighted the point.

If you don’t think comedy should involve celebrities, why are you writing for a medium whose focus is interviewing celebrities?

I’m sure it would have been super pleasant for her to spend her birthday surrounded by 20-30 extremely resentful peers

Not me. Dude’s a rapist.

I still don't get how Drake is a thing

Gaia-Health? Really?