Wow!! Mourinho has a lot of family members that are also Deadspin commenters.

Heil!!

In the words of Abraham Lincoln: “Fuck The Mets”

Eh. Magic has been spewing yellow gunk on women’s faces for years.

Lamars current state is more about being a Clipper than it is being Lamar.

“Fans now chant “Buttley Sucks” cause of this lil’ gem.”

If anyone thinks this was a dirty play intended to hurt Tejada is either a Mets fan, or very new to baseball. Of course, a Mets fan and a new fan are exclusive to one another.

Just to clarify; Joe Torre, MLB or an arbitrator will NOT be the governing body who decides Chase Utley’s fate. It will be us!

Any and all managers of baseball from little league on up teach this play. It's clear you wanted to play devils advocate here, but eventually it just makes you sound uneducated. Now put your helmet back on. Your bus arrived.

This must be your first time watching a baseball game, so let me explain how that works. That was a hard slide into 2nd base to break up a double play. The idea of that slide is to disrupt the play within the rules of the game. Utley (and all base runners) can utilize the allowable 6ft wide base running path. If…

Actually, 3-on-3 is 2 too many dicks.

That’s not true at all. I thought we were going to see Paris, France and her vagina.

We Didn’t Fart You Liar - Weird Al Yankovic

Wait!! Don’t move your lips. They’re perfect.

Everything > Texas

Scott Wells had something similar happen to him from Brett Favre, but it turned out Brett was balls deep inside of him.

Fuck the Cardinals!!

The only thing that Resident-Hater said that made sense was about Alexi. But then again, any casual football fan can see that. His take on Ozil was misguided. A lot of what Mesut does goes unnoticed by those who don’t know much about the game; his runs create space for the attackers to work the 1 v 1 up the flank…

Good luck #snatchface