What am I doing today? I'm glad you asked. It's Tuesday, I'm at work, reading an article about a badass little kid on Deadspin, hoping that the comments won't descend into some madness about how these days kids all think they're the shit and everyone's a winner.

I like this.

Good, clean hit.

Daaaaaaaaaamn ziplock bags full of piss? The level of evil genius here is beyond my comprehension.

Of course he succeeded. As soon as I saw that cookie on his face, I got the same feeling I get when I see someone put a feeder rat in a cage with a snake. I feel bad, but I am also fascinated and cannot look away.

It's sad that they are so used to losing, they quite literally do not know how to win. It's a good thing they brought Justin Tuck over. Even if he doesn't get a single sack, at least he fucking knows the game isn't over just because you made a good play.

Yeah. I've was pretty neutral about Peyton Manning when he was at Indy, but the longer he is here in Denver, the more I dislike the guy. Granted, part of it (most of it) is because Broncos fans are the worst. Fairweather to the extreme, they're all Manning jerseys and quiet when the offense is on the field while…

YOU GUYS CHILL WE DON'T WANT THIS TO TURN INTO A DEBATE ABOUT IF FIGHTING BELONGS IN SPORTS WRITING

And SOME people say that there is no place for fighting in hockey.

It took me a second to see what was wrong with this. I was waiting for the gif to load of some buttfumbly, play dead so that Harvin can run into a pile sort of play, and then I saw it and understood. The Jets. Even when they're winning they still look bad.

(his off hand!)

HOLD ME BACK! HOLD ME BACK! OW JESUS WHY DID NOBODY HOLD ME BACK?!

I admit that I don't really follow the Pirates, but I am now 100% positive that Tony Sanchez is my favorite baseball player. That commitment! That technique! That follow through! He is human Nike. The guy just does it.

I'm with you 100% here. The guy has made so many terrible movies since he was in his prime, but goddammit I just can't help but buy them when they're in the giant Bin o' Shit DVDs at Best Buy, or watch them when I'm super bored on Netflix. I just shake my head and say "Oh Cuba... you're amazing, and certainly better…

I starred it just to spite him.

ABANDON THE OCEAN!

IT IS SO DISRESPECTFUL TO COMPARE YOUR CULTURE TO MY CULTURE

Plus (insert lit up joke)

https://v.cdn.vine.co/r/videos/78A29…

Okay, so the kid has talent. The real question is, when will all the former high school hockey players come out and start talking about how this move "really isn't that hard"?

I wonder why this is surprising. Pretty much every game I've played that has timed exclusivity mentions nothing about when it'll be available on other platforms. That's kind of the point when you pay for exclusive rights, even if it's only temporary.

Besides, a few months ago, advertisements for Destiny didn't mention…