I laughed audibly at the part about “no-fly zone, what are you gonna do.” That’s a four hour drive, dick. Call a fucking uber.

Regardless, the kindest, most fatherly thing he can do for the kid is to stay away. His absence would be the gift that keeps on giving.

Trump is an empty, grease-stained McDonald’s bag borne aloft by a stray breeze. He cannot control his direction, and his current height is due to the vagaries of chance. I guess the point I’m driving at is, he is literal garbage and his garbage-ness is so fundamental to his being that I don’t think he can actually…

Well, we sort of do that now, don’t we? Except for the anthem, of course.

It’s gross that he has to specify that they were beautiful. Is it only tragic if the girls were beautiful? If he were talking about 15-year-old boys, would he have included the detail that they were handsome? Maybe, but it seems less likely.

The thing is he ISN’T a real believer, he’s just really good at being an opportunist.

The GOP congress will just go “Oh that silly Beauregard forgetting to tell us about another Russian contact. What monkeyshines will he do next?”

They’re fucking with us and loving it because it makes us look like fools unable to lead the free world, which, with our current choice of leader, I can’t really disagree with.

Chris Kattan

Holy shit, when there was a reddit thread last week about Don Jr.’s hunting of elephants, there were so many people willing to jump to the defense of trophy hunters with the “Yeah but they pay a lot of money and that supports conversation” argument, along with the “It’s necessary to control populations” argument.

“White House Accuses Outgoing Ethics Chief of Grandstanding in Statement That Misspells His Name”

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

I know. I’m surprised he didn’t give the “little ladies” some “spending money” to go shopping.

Exactly, and thank you.

100% this was Trump being polite. Like, obviously this hag needs me to want to fuck her so she can feel good about herself. So I tell her I want to fuck her. It’s a compliment.

He probably thinks he was being incredibly complimentary as women her age are not on his radar. I just wish she had turned to him, smiled and said: “M. President vous êtes un cochon revoltant.” He would have taken it as a compliment. I just hope all the chefs spat on his food when he dined at the Eiffel Tower.

Now I’m imagining him sitting in an audience at a sex traffickers auction. It is sickening, but highly believable.

And everyone knows he meant, “for your age.”

I never trust rich, powerful men who use cheap, single process hair dye in the wrong shade. It’s the biggest tell.

It’s a thing amongst aging tyrants. These two now-deceased ones come immediately to mind...