What on earth is going on with the color of Melanoma’s hands and face not matching? She clearly only applies self-tanner to one spot on the top of her hands. She literally has one job to justify her existence — to apply self-tanner — and she can’t even do that properly.

She doesn’t care if the little people like her, she just can’t stand being ignored. If her intentions really were good, she would shun the spotlight and commit herself quietly to some cause without any expectation of changing the unflattering narrative she created about herself. But she’s so fucking clueless, she…

This is about as much as I would expect from Time, owned by Meredith Corporation, and whose brethren includes Family Circle, Diabetic Living and MySpace.

It really makes the failure of white supremacists and Russian trolls to make the list an unconscionable oversight.

The most obvious answer is that he treats any audience, including his wife’s, like a rally. He talks about himself, how great he is, his ratings, his enemies, and Melania’s like, “Yeah” “Sure” “Uh huh” and “Can have allowance now?”

I’m the same way but every once in awhile I get creative and start imagining Twilight Zone scenarios where these shitbags suffer fates worse than death to them, something that preys on their worst fears. Cheetolini wakes up in prison with locked-in syndrome and is forced to blink out his tweets to Tiffany (the only…

She doesn’t plan to stay long. I hope.

Yes, but what’s with her wearing gloves indoors? Is the White House exceptionally cold indoors this time of year?

Maybe she’s hoping her husband will deport her

Maybe in the $100k hotel room in Cairo she paid for with tax dollars but didn’t even use

If Melania treats people at the WH with the same haughty contempt that she treats the American people, I’d say the sack of shit had it coming.

she’s “not a racist” who didn’t “want families to be separated?”

Whenever someone says the Trumps should pack up and move back to NY, I’m like New York doesn’t want them either! I hope they get the Hope Hicks treatment. She thought she’d walk into a top job with Goldman in NY and couldn’t even find a banker there who’d let her steam their pants. LA can have her.

Silly of me to think Melanoma’s hasty, last-minute trip to Africa was an attempt to get out of Dodge to avoid the unpleasantness around the Kavanaugh hearings. As if she gave a shit about a Supreme Court nomination. Now we know it was the result of this:

Louise Linton: You rang?

I think that’s what they’re going to say to save their own hides. I feel the sane people of this country are being held captive in deranged Tan Dad’s basement while the people in his administration play the role of Dottie Sandusky and Camille Cosby. If we ever get through this ordeal with our country intact, there are…

As people start getting carted off to prison I’m sure we’ll have many years’ worth of memoirs and tell-alls from rats fleeing the Trumptanic with versions of “I was too scared to leave,” to “I was resisting from within,” to “I didn’t realize how bad it was,” to which I say, until these people literally physically pros…

Voldemorting is a form of SEO resistance. It is good.

The rapist was white too. It’s shocking that he was not given a promotion and a pat on the back for showing so much respect to little girls. If only he’d had a calendar.

That would be a step in the right direction, but is he estranged from his family’s shady finances? That I very much doubt. I feel like she pledged fealty to père Kushner by converting (as Ivanka did too, to appease him), and that guy is twice the scum. I guess the heart wants what it wants, and mazel to them, but if…